I bet you didn't know this would happen...

I received the following email chain this afternoon.
______________________________________________
From: Corporate Big Wig
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Please be advised that all logs for the period ending August 31, 2006 must be entered and finalized by 4:00 p.m. LOCAL TIME on Friday, September 1, 2006.


______________________________________________
From: Head Honcho Bossy-Boss Guy
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Some of Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Everyone.

See the email above. I don't like these deadlines anymore then you, but be advised that I expect everyone's time for the month of August to be in the system within the deadline set forth below--that means TOMORROW.


-----Original Message-----
From: Tip-Top Corporate Beancounter
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 6:13 PM
To: Back to Everyone ! US
Subject: Time Entry

This is very important for many reasons. Please comply with this request.

______________________________________________________

Secret to the Universe decoded by email messages sent to Corporate Drone:

This *IS* very important, for many reasons... none of which we're going to tell you...

Such as:

A) If you don’t comply with this request, time, as a scientific concept, as we know it will come to a screeching halt. Planets will collide, generally bad news for everybody.

B) Interest rates will go up

C) Al Gore will grow another goofy beard.

D) Toilets all over the Northern Hemisphere will start flushing in the opposite direction and in Australia, they will come to a complete standstill.

E) Lindsay Lohan will be awarded the Irving Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Award.

F) Legwarmers will come back into style (ha! told you so.)

Passwords...

Why is it that everything is password protected these days? And, every time you go to buy something on the internet they want you to set up an "account" (yes, I know this is a bit like Kramer asking why Radio Shack needs your phone number)...

Now, its not only enough for you to have to have a password, but for instance, at the job I have to change my password every 6 months. Yes, because I'm really working on some top secret spy-worthy cryptic information like the schematic for the space shuttle or something. Fine, so when I started work I was given a password. It meant nothing to me but I wasn't paying attention in computer training in order to learn how to change it to something meaningful so I stuck with it. It has a number in it. Every time I'm prompted to change my password I just change the number. Now, that's not enough. Nope, not at all. Now I can't use the same password that I've used before. It has a memory of at least my last five passwords. There is no rhyme or reason to the numbers that I've chosen so the last time I had to change the damn thing I had to go through every possible iteration until I found the number I haven't used in the last five passwords.

Sure, you probably are saying to yourself what's the big deal, who cares, what's another password. I'll tell you what another password is-- it's between the password and my home address. There's only so much room left up there in the old brain. Something's got to go. And just think, if I didn't have to be wasting my time with this whole password thing I might actually be able to get some work done!

Strange....

So earlier my office smelled like feet (or the bread they make at Subway, take your pick), now it smells like burning candle wax. Between that and the whole "having to work" thing, this whole "job" is getting to be a bit much.

I'll huff and I'll puff...

Now I can identify with the three little pigs. When you live in central New Jersey you typically don't expect to wake up and find part of a tree sticking out of your family room.

More things you don't expect to hear....

including a William-F.-Buckley-Eqsue co-worker using the words "edible panties" and "horse trailer" in the same sentence.

T-Shirts...

So for the next time you want to make your own Snakes on a Plane t-shirt replete with Samuel L. Jackson quotes, visit Zazzle.

Emmy's...

Yup, Billy Bush, the president's cousin, called Evangeline Lilly's gown a "Versach"

Prada, Day Two

After checking on the website and finding that mark-downs for Thursday were up to 75% off of wholesale, I decided to head back to the Fuller building for my second "appointment" at the sale. There were a handful of sweaters left, each needing a visit to the reweaver, lots of mens shoes and suits and lots of strange pants. I ended up with two pair of pants, each at $25 a piece. The upside is at least one pair is red, matching the handbag from Tuesday!

Hmpf.

I'm not quite sure what any of this means, but it was on Ana's page and I thought it was interesting...





take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.

410e9th

Okay so 410e9th is really slacking. No new posts since June! What's with that!?! I guess after (gasp!) turning 30 he thinks's he's got better things to do???

Samples...

So I managed to walk away with two pair of shoes and a handbag! Not bad for day 2 of the Prada Sample Sale (yesterday was open only to employees and the "press"). I did have in my hands for a few moments a gorgeous buttery leather handbag that was so very chic, but I'm afraid I wasn't willing to part with $600. I also found a great Miu Miu skirt and sweater, only to after closer inspection, find holes. Damn!

The two pair of shoes and the bag, however, are perfect.

Now, we'll see what Thursday brings.

Long Way Down

Rumor has it Ewan and Charley will be at it again come 2007, riding from John O'Groats, Scotland to Capetown. Hopefully Claudio will remember his passport this time!

Chris Isaak

So last night was the Chris Isaak concert-- we had tickets to see him last year in Boston but misplaced the tickets and then ended up having to work anyway (lame, I know) and tried (but not too hard) to make a last minute trip to see him at the Borgata in Atlantic City, then finally, he was actually scheduled for a date in New York. Booked the tickets in May, got 10th row (not bad) and it was at the Beacon.

While we were waiting to go to our seats (after having been browbeaten by the ushers for trying to enter the auditorium too early-- who knew 7:40 was too early for an 8pm show) I noticed two girls near me who were talking to an odd looking guy with a headset and a set list. I heard him say something about "Blue Spanish Sky" and the girls looked both confused and kind of excited and after he left they seemed to be wondering whether he was for real (turns out the girls were brought up on stage right before the final song to dance with the band.... now if only I had been wearing a flirty top instead of a cardigan maybe that could have been me-- my cardigan did have leopard print trim, shouldn't that count for something???)

Tristan Prettyman opened (in advance of the performance I had no idea who this person was so I was taking bets with the husband as to whether Tristan was a native american man... turns out Tristan is a 24 year old girl who can play a mean guitar!) She totally inspired me to get the guitar out of the hall closet and try again with lessons (ha! like I have time for that, one can dream...) anyhoo, the Beacon theater's not that big of a place and Tristan came out to the "merch table" after her performance and signed cds which was neat (and even more neat that her performance made you want to buy her cd!) Of course, as usual, the intermission was also punctuated by a call to the Job. Vacationing co-worker felt the need to call every possible number for me and leave blackberry messages in order to alert me to the fact that I needed to do something immediately, oh, no, wait, it can wait until tomorrow morning, but you have to call at 9:30am, on the dot, not a minute later, 9:30. Why not send smoke signals and call my mom next time too???

Finally, for the show-- Chris and the band looked like they were having a lot of fun and the audience size was small enough that it still felt intimate rather than a ginormous venue. The songs were mixed between full band with acoustic numbers thrown in and you know you're getting old when you prefer acoustic music because it's less loud. In true New York fashion I had to yell at two women sitting in front of us who were getting drunker by the moment and kept shouting through all of the music (interspersed with their constant getting up and leaving their row, much to the dismay of the four people who were between them and the aisle). I felt vindicated, however, when I was thanked by the woman who was sitting next to them.

All in all a great night, and how often can you say you saw someone perform in a suit made to look like a giant disco ball?

Talledega Nights

Okay, so it was stupid. But sometimes stupid can be funny!

Train Gang

I think it is kind of funny how there is a little gang of people who all stand at the same spot on the train platform every morning. Back when we used to take the 7:56 Amtrak there was the foursome affectionately known as "the Russians" who we would often have to battle for seats. Nowadays we rarely see more than one or two of them at a time due to changes in the timetables, but as with each new train schedule, new groups emerge. Today on the platform was the British guy who looks like a cross between the evil boss from "Thirtysomething" and Gary Oldman with a pencil thin moustache. It is very hard to take anyone seriously who has a pencil thin moustache, even more hard when they show up on the platform in pink and white gingham trousers. He managed to pull off the look but it was very Lilly Pulitzer. Then there is the mysterious Indian guy in his thirties who never has anything with him other than a cell phone (and occasionally a provocatively titled book-- something about HSBC being "the Devil's bank"???) and of course, the card shuffler. The card shuffler is a man in his late fifties or early sixties (who oddly enough also works in my office building) and used to be the dealer on various interstate poker games on the old Amtrak. Due to the seating configurations on NJT trains, thankfully poker playing is no longer convienent. Many a trip I had wanted to rip the cards out of his hand, give him a $5 bill and then throw the deck off the train. People would settle up their scores upon reaching Penn Station and money would change hands, this practice never troubled the conductors, though let a little old lady get on in New Brunswick with an RTX fare her butt would get booted off the train by the time we reached Newark.

One Small Step...

Have you heard that NASA has "misplaced" its original tapes of the Lunar Landing? But don't worry, they have film footage of the broadcasts of the landing so the images aren't lost for ever, just the *originals*! Does anyone think this is a bit fishy? I'm thinking all those moon landing conspiracy theorists are saying "I told you so" right about now. Now there isn't any filmic evidence that the whole thing was just staged out in Burbank. Next we'll find out the "Mars" images are from Red Rocks.

Project Runway...

This season's slug of designers on PR is just not nearly as exciting as last season, what with no clear "Santino" of the bunch, and not even an Austin Scarlett. But, I will say, Laura Bennett has grown on me. Very prim and proper and every now and again she curses like a sailor. Its a bit unexpected and it works. As Tim Gunn would say, "Carry on!"

Sample Sales...

So ladies and gentlemen, I have been monitoring the internet for a month. Waiting and logging on to the Prada Sample Sale website to see whether it was open for business. Finally, last night at about 10:30 the flood gates opened. They were taking reservations. I'm in. I managed to snag one appointment on the first day of the sale (though I could have gone in at 9am I opted for a noon slot-- we'll see if this was a mistake...) hoping to get my hands on some handbags or shoes. And another appointment on the second to last day (which is when I went last year...) Last year's purchases included a purple cashmere shell, a fabulous cashmere and silk grey cardigan, an ostrich skirt (yes, PETA be damned, it's real ostrich, I'm sorry!!) and the only regrettable purchase-- a pair of suede pants. Note to self-- next time, try not to purchase suede pants with lining made out of the same material as a bag of Lays potato chips.

Also right on time from last year is the reappearance of the Hermes sample sale. Last year all I got from the sale was a lousy tie (actually, it was a quite nice tie, but last time I checked I don't wear ties that often, so clearly it was a bauble for the husband). Unfortunately this sale has been moved from 61st Street to the Metropolitan Pavilion. Regardless, work permitting, I will be hopping on the subway in between Prada appointments. ;)

I know, its a sickness. At least I'll be well dressed.

The Most Random iPod Ever....

Here it is, 10:36 on a Saturday night and I find myself adding tunes by Bing Crosby and the Red Hot Chili Peppers to my iPod. I think Bing is rolling over in his urn somewhere. Mele Kalikimaka!

Did someone say copyright infringement?

I think Emeril's people will be making a few calls soon enough. When trolling the east village last Sunday at an ungodly hour of the morning (aka sometime after 9am but before noon) with Ana, I came across 37 St. Mark's Place, aka Bamn!

Bamn! Food is bringing back the old Horn & Hardart Automat concept (see picture below) and apparently, "satisfaction is automatic" and the food is "Bamn Tasty!"

On Aging...

On the train this morning there were two men sitting across the aisle from me. One looked to be about 65 (though a fit 65) and the other in his seventies. The 65 year old, extending out a copy of the day's paper, says to the septugenarian: "Do you want to look at this? It's got big pictures!"

Where George Clooney likes to eat in Lake Como

I just happened to stumble upon this fun little article in the Times...

Sienna Style

It would appear that leggings are making a come back. I completely attribute this to Sienna Miller who (though US catalogued her latest fashion missteps on the last page of last week's issue) has this uncanny knack of looking good in usually bemoaned eighties-esque fashions. The husband is completely horrified by this trend and signals it as a sign that leg warmers too will make a come back (little does he know there was a limited resurgence of those a season or two back, but like the first time Gauchos tried to make a reappearance in late 2000-early 2001 it just didn't quite stick that first time around). Anyway, being the fashion follower I am I had to jump on the bandwagon. Also being slightly weary of this trend I decided to make my foray via a cheap pair from Target. I had seen them earlier this summer at my local Target but hemmed and hawed even though they were only $5.99. I bought another pair of knit gauchos instead (what can I say, they're great to wear around the house). Then I finally decided I had to take the plunge. I haven't had time to go back to Target so I hit up the internet site and was disappointed to learn my leggings were on back order for up to 6 weeks! However, some fashion miracle occurred because they ended up showing up on my door step just a few days ago. Though I'll probably not have the guts to leave the house in them (though I have dreams of perhaps pairing them with my Prada ostrich skirt, much to Miuccia's dismay, I'm sure) they are great-- just the right amount of stretch and made out of some Roswell technology space-aged material that has more sheen than cotton but doesn't make you look like you should be taking part in the Tour de France. Also they were surprisingly the appropriate length! I was mesmerized so much I had to order another pair. But I swear, no leg warmers.

Miss Kitty

Sometimes, like the Post Office, they like to keep you guessing. This evening, I started a little chant of "kitty", and in a very un-feline-like manner Miss Kitty, perched on her cat tree, slowly climbed down, made her characteristic "brrr!" sauntered over, jumped on the ottoman and then climbed into my lap for a nap.

On Broadway

So this weekend was Ana's big visit to NYC. We decided we would go see a show and on our way to the infamous TKTS booth (which has now been temporarily relocated to the Marriott Marquis) we heard a young guy call out "discounted front row tickets to Faith Healer". Okay, I didn't think much of it. I had already seen Faith Healer (after having waited since 1995 for Ralph Fiennes to come back to Broadway!!). We go to the booth, deciding between Bridge and Tunnel and Jewtopia when Ana notes that she would go and see Faith Healer, if I hadn't already seen it. I say, it's got Ralph, I'd see it again (noting however that it was a very heavy Irish drama which in polite theater jargon means-- don't hold me responsible if you think its awful!) Then I'm thinking well, if the guy shouted "discount" it must be that he's with TKTS and is just hawking for the booth. I go to the window and ask what seats they have for the show-- the woman says "mezzanine". Ana asks if I am game to jump out of line and find the guy with the tix. I say okay.

We head over to the general vicinity of where the ticket guy was and he's nowhere to be found-- though there are a bunch of other scalper types and oodles of tourists handing over crisp ATM-fresh twenties. Amidst the sounds of "Front row, History Boys, Front row, Drowsy Chaperone" we threw out an inquiry for "Faith Healer". Cell phone calls were made, we were told the guy would be back in a few minutes. So, I'm standing here on the corner of 46th and Broadway thinking-- what's going to happen next? How much is "discount"? Exactly what are the scalping laws in New York again? Is the NYPD going to be cracking down on illicit Broadway ticket offerings? Will these tickets even be real? And then there shows up Sal. Sal looks to be about 25, just a touch overweight, someone who would look more comfortable outside of Yankee stadium in the same trade rather than at TKTS. So, he shows us the tickets and they look good enough and he's selling at below face value so I feel a bit better about the ticket trade.

My lingering doubt, however, is as always that we're going to get our butts thrown out of the theater when the tickets are proved fakes and two little old ladies, or worse yet, nuns come to collect their seats right before the curtain goes up.

Sal advises that we *have* to be there on time since we're "so close" to the stage and he gives us his card and shows us his driver's license and a credit card in order to "prove" his id. Not like those couldn't be fake or stolen or whatnot, but hell, it was $75, in for a penny, in for a pound.

As show time got closer I started to get more excited about the prospect of seeing Ralph up-close, the last time around our seats were good but not up-close good. Of course the down side to all of this is having to sit through another two and a half hours of Irish drama. The other thing that happened as showtime got closer was that I realized that I was not really dressed for the occasion. I was going to be one of those disshevled tourist folk up in the front row that everybody else looks at and says-- "how did *she* get in?" Yeah, I was all decked out in lime green lacoste and capri pants with cole slaw spots from dinner at Junior's, no make-up and a day full of city grime on my face-- short sleeves I knew it would be cold, went to the Gap, found nothing good and decided to resort to draping a newly purchased skirt over my shoulders for warmth. At least it was a Bottega Veneta skirt, but I would still look like a crazy woman nonetheless.

At 8pm we strided into the Booth Theater and alas! What ho, the ticket scanner accepted our tickets. Still feeling a bit like we could get tossed at any moment we headed down, Uecker-esque "to the front row" (well, second row, but it was still very close). Right in the center, there we were Row BB, seats 105 and 106. Center stage. Much to my surprise the lights went down, curtain went up and no one evicted us. Instead two other groups of two shuffled in reluctantly (presumably also customers of "Sal" since he had four other tickets in our row to sell...).

I found that much like how the return trip from somewhere always seems to go faster than the original trek, the play was really easy to sit through and enjoy. I knew what was coming and when and I could just watch intently. This was broken up a bit when, in the first act Ana and the man in front of her had to dodge some errant Ralph spittle. Risk of the territory, I suppose. Another aspect of sitting up so close that was neat was there certainly seemed to be actual eye contact with the actors-- I have been on stage before and know that with the lights you usually can't see a damn thing in the audience, but it did seem on more than one occasion that you could catch their eye. Pretty neat, that is right up until I decided to keep my word and take a picture at the end of the play! Both Ana and I really do think that Ralph gave us the evil eye, or if not us, at least me. I tried to be good, I waited until the play was over and the gang was out on stage for their bows. I did turn the flash off, trying to be respectful (even if the sign outside said absolutely, postively, no photography, before during or after the performance). It was my groupie moment in the sun. And, what an outcome for my efforts:



Note to self: Next time you decide to make an ass out of yourself in front of The English Patient, USE A FLASH!

Havana Nights

Ironically, at about 2:30 am on Saturday evening/Sunday morning I was in the midst of a discussion with a person extolling the virtues of Cuba. This doesn't happen every day, either both for the time of night and the subject matter. This same person (a Castro sympathizer, I might add) mentioned how Castro is getting on in years and he's been grooming his brother, Raoul, to take his place. I got a bit of a chuckle thinking about little brother Raoul, and yet here I am watching the 11 o'clock news and what do I hear-- Raoul has stepped in for Castro, perhaps pinch hit is a better phrase. Random, no?

The Fifth Beatle...

You can find some amazing things on the internet, for instance, that this man, standing next to George Harrison is the infamous "fifth Beatle", who knew?

Golf.

This weekend we hit the driving range. You know you're in less than peak physical condition when golfing makes you sore the next day.

You know you're an Italian woman when...

a) you find yourself living in New Jersey and b) its 1am and you're making sauce.

Tile!

After ADT tried to remove our fireplace surround while installing our security system and broke half of the tiles attached thereto, it took us a while to get replacements.

We knew they were Delft and after some research (and buying more than one extremely obscure book from Amazon.com) we were able to identify the maker of our tiles as being Tichlaar Makkum. Apparently the Tichlaar Makkum people have been making tiles in the Netherlands since 1594 so they know a thing or two about replacing broken tiles. After photographing each of the broken tiles and sending a sample piece to their factory after a few short weeks we received a big box from Holland with pretty impressive replicas. Then, due to sheer laziness and other assorted interfering home improvement projects approximately two years went by with our lovely replacement tiles sitting in their box waiting to be installed.

Finally, the time had come...


Here we are laying out the tiles in order to determine whether we need spacers... turns out, opening was 41 1/8 inches, and we had just about 41 1/8 with all of our tiles...


Next we had to clean the existing area and remove all of the old mastic-- which meant the fun little job of chiseling the old mastic off of the brick... great way to vent frustrations! (This is the after picture...)


Then we attached our tiles-- interestingly enough the new tiles were ever so slightly larger than the old tiles, which meant that we had a bit of a puzzle piece effect trying to get the tiles on either end to match with the trim tiles which had remained unharmed by ADT...


Finally, grout! Grouting turns out to be not that difficult, provided you have the right tools, most important of which being big rubber gloves! This has had the unfortunate effect of making me think tiling and grouting is not so tough. Now I have grandiose plans to finally regrout portions of one of our bathrooms-- (a plan which was supposed to happen over last thanksgiving but it never quite turned out that way....) Not to mention planning to make a side table with a tile top (the tile being none other than the infamous sea creature tile salvaged from the master bathroom-- what can I say, you can only sell so many of those on Ebay, we still have a small truckload full of them.)

Beirut Hilton

If you were ever wondering what the pool at the Beirut Hilton looks like, I think I have a good idea for you...

Happy Fourth!

Here's to White Elephants...

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Someone got some sleep while taking transportation. Because that's certainly not what happens these days.

Here, the first day this week that traffic hasn't been backed up like crazy en route to the train station, the first day we don't have to run for the train, the first day we get seats together, the man across the aisle from us has decided to watch Star Wars Episode III on his computer. Hey, no problem, right? People do it all the time, whether with portable DVD players or otherwise. Yes, but typically, people use headphones. Because when one decides to watch tv in a public place without headphones it tends to make everybody else around feel like we've been invited into your living room. I'm meanwhile trying to go to sleep but between Light Saber "swooshes" and R2D2's high pitched whine I just can't do it. John Williams music has never before taken on such a distasteful tone, and I love Star Wars! Problem is, I'm not really used to watching it (or listening to it, as the case may be) at 8:30 in the morning.

Rule for the train-- if you're going to subject your fellow passengers to film dialogue on full blast, at least bring a monitor with a screen big enough to entertain everyone.

What was worse was later on I looked over and I realized Mr. MovieFone actually *did* have on headphones... whether or not these were properly attached or if he didn't realize that the computer was still emitting volume at full blast is not clear. Of course by this time, Mr. MovieFone, headphones and Snappy George Lucas Dialogue regardless, was fast asleep.

H&M

Why is it that H&M loves to stock fantastic looking designer knock off clothing in its store windows on 5th Avenue but then none of those items are actually available inside the store? For instance, today on the way back from lunch with Dave I happen upon a great little Chloe-like number in the front window, together with a red wrap blouse that was very Japanese kimono inspired... make the mistake of stepping inside and what's there? Nothing even remotely similar to what was in the window. At Banana and JCrew they actually stock what they have in the window, so that upon seeing it, you can actually buy it, H&M? They just want to lure you in and dash your hopes.

Mothra!

I took this picture the other night with the digital Elph... this moth was on the screen by the back door (behind glass...) wacky, no?

Family Room!

So, we've gotten some new furniture and rearranged things a bit...

Badgley Mischka

So this evening I was occupying myself while the husband was still at work by wandering around Bloomingdales. Though these days I prefer Saks (closer) Bloomies has the best hours in town (sometimes even staying open as late as 10 pm, for this being the city that never sleeps, most mainstream retail establishments usually call it quits pretty early, but I digress). Anyhoo, so I have a wedding coming up in September and I've been torn as to what to wear (noting that yes, I have three months for this, but what can I say, I'm a planner by nature). So on my way to the Calvin Klein bedding section (which was the planned reason for this particular visit) I managed to find myself diverted by the dress department. They were having a sale. Do I need to elaborate much more? So, I'm scouring the sale racks and I find a neat green column dress and another dress that was silk and brown and white polka dots (which I did contemplate might make me look a bit giraffe like) and then I found myself in the Badgley Mischka department! I didn't even know they had one of those! Amongst many unique and interesting frocks I found this very Jackie-O beige and silver jacquard number (yes, mom, you will tell me when you see it that it looks like someone's upholstery fabric, but what can I say, I just loved it!) But, the smallest size they had was a six. So, I kept wandering and then decided to try it on-- it looks great! Just the right length and I think it will work perfectly with my new Jimmy Choo's! The only problem being this whole size 6 thing. A four would probably work, possibly a 2 even better-- so I go to the sales person to see whatelse they have. After no luck searching the 59th street store we make the mistake of calling Short Hills (no answer), then Chicago (no other sizes), then Short Hills again (still no answer-- which at this point pisses off the Bloomingdale's people and they have an internal discussion about how the Short Hills people are snobby, and what reason do they have to be snobby if the Flagship 59th Street store actually answers their phones)... then we gave up. That is until I was up in the shoe department and decided to call the store in Boca just in case. Who knew that something jacquard would manage to still be in stock in Boca, but it was! And they're sending it (keep your fingers crossed).

After all that, the Calvin Klein department was a bust, but we'll see about this dress!

Subway Stories

The New York City Subway's metro card kiosks have a newfangled way to "fight" credit card fraud (because so many people who steal other people's credit card numbers decide to rack up rides on public transportation, rather than say, visiting Best Buy to get a Plasma or something). Now when one goes to purchase a metro card with a credit card you have to punch in your billing zip code. This is traumatic for people with Howard Hughes-like tendencies like myself because it means having to touch additional buttons at the kiosk itself, but if that weren't bad enough at the 1/9 kiosk at Penn Station some joker decided it would be comical to cover the number "4" on the key pad with superglue. Maybe an ex boyfriend or girlfriend lives in the Meatpacking district and they were trying to send a message, maybe they thought, "how many people out there really have a "4" in their zip code?" Like it isn't bad enough that I'm having to take the subway as it is, and I'm having to touch the screen and all the creepy buttons, but then, there I am, trying to push the damn number "4" to no avail. Speaking as someone from 08540, for anybody else out there who wants to get cute, and if you want to be really effective in Manhattan, try for the Number "1".

Camelia? Magnolia? Who knows!

Here's another flower from our garden... we've got quite a number of these jobbies hanging delicately from a tree near the "pool"...

Lasagne...

So last night we decided to try Mario Batali's recipe for Lasagne Bolognese from April's Gourmet Magazine. Nothing like having lasagne at 11pm. Do you think Mario would be insulted if I wrote to Gourmet and advised that I improved upon the recipe by adding just a touch of ricotta? You can never have enough cheese.

Canada Loves the Chicks, U.S. Not So Much....

Sure, the first time I'm ever able to get floor seats at the Garden for something other than the fricking Ringling Brothers Circus and rumors abound that the Dixie Chicks Tour is tanking and may be cancelled, or "revamped" so to speak...

Who knew Snapple was Seasonal?

The following mass email was recently circulated at the Job:

"We are pleased to announce that we will be offering Mango Madness Snapple for the summer. Mango will take Orangeade's place. We will again offer Diet Green Tea Snapple in the fall. In addition, during the summer we will be switching Rootbeer and Diet Rootbeer for Cream and Diet Cream."

The Break-Up

We've decided to continue the summer tradition of semi-frequent movie going. Semi-frequent being up from occasional movie viewing with the sporadic "On Demand" rental thrown in for good measure. The tradition started out in earnest a few years ago when we saw Troy (and then a couple of other movies which obviously didn't make a very good impression) at the start of the summer at the "big theater" up closer to New Brunswick than we really like to go.

So far this summer we started things right by going with Dave to the Ziegfeld to see Mission Impossible III. Okay to be honest the only good thing about that was the company and the theater, the movie left a bit to be desired. Say goodbye to your career Tom Cruise.

Then we hit up Lincoln Square for the Code, which was an adventure as most movie going in Manhattan is.

This past weekend we tried something new. We went to a matinee at the Marketfair (still can't convince the husband to go to the Princeton Garden Theater-- something to do with the fact that he claims one doesn't go to the movies to watch said movie on a screen comparable to that of your tv at home-- oh, pish, I say!) Anyway, I digress.

At this matinee showing we were both mesmerized that the ticket prices were somewhat discounted and that at 12:35 on a Sunday virtually no one was in the theater. For whatever reason we then gorged ourselves on movie snacks (in total two excessively large sodas, each which were marketed as "medium", a nacho, jumbo hot dog and pretzel nuggets-- all being really more than we would usually consume in a day let alone in one two hour sitting). The snack indulgence cut into our matinee ticket savings to say the least.

Movie snacks and half empty theater aside, our film choice left much to be desired. What can I say, I was taken in by the whole marketing campaign. I wanted to see The Break-Up. More than "Friends with Money" and certainly more than "Rumor Has It" or "Derailed" (though Derailed did have Clive Owen, a bonus). I got suckered in to wanting to see the movie. The husband went along out of husbandly duty, but perhaps he also knew better. All I can say is now I totally owe him, I am so having to go see the newest Jet Li movie after this disaster.

First of all, its not funny. Not even a little bit. One maybe two chuckles. Vince Vaughn? He looked like a beached whale until the end where in the reshoots he had actually lost so much weight that they wrote it in to the script. Poor Vincent D'Onofrio always plays the "Bug" from the Men in Black movies and Jennifer Anniston is just generally unlikeable.

The whole movie from start to finish seemed like one big PR move to say: "This is what happened. Things with Brad and I blew out of proportion, then I realized we weren't right for each other and I broke up with him, now I've moved on and I'm happy." "And oh, ps. this whole thing with Vince is just for the publicity, we'll be done in two weeks."

Then again I should have known, I tend to think a good indication of a movie is in the previews. The previews showing before The Break-Up included a Cameron Diaz/Kate Winslet movie I've never heard of and a movie about teenagers who start their own technical institute. Harold and Kumar's trip to the White Castle was better! (As an aside, may I just say, this Kate Winslet movie... "The Holiday"... they've paired the poor woman up with Jack Black. Explain to me how Kate Winslet could be in Titanic with Leonardo diCaprio as her love interest, being the "biggest movie" of all time, then the girl puts on a few pounds and she's cast opposite Jack Black?!? There truly is no justice in Hollywood.)

Finally, to round out the weekend we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Starz (or perhaps it was Encore...either way I was surprised it was on tv since the DVD came out approximately five minutes ago). Must say, better film. More entertaining and Angelina Jolie strange as she may be is just a better match for Brad Pitt.

Next on our list?

Casino Royale. The previews have sucked me in and though I was initially a big naysayer for the casting of Daniel Craig, after seeing Layer Cake I can understand the concept.

And of course, a shout out to Snakes on a Plane.

Summer Reading...

Calling all suggestions for good summer reading. I've recently finished Julia Child's "My Life in France" and "Vengance" (the book which "Munich" was based on)-- I know, what a combination, right? I'm looking for engaging non-fiction. I already have a Wendy Wasserstein book and a Jane Rylands Venice stories book but I can't seem to get in to either one of those, and I've also been trying to read a "Short History of France" (which is turning out to be a rather long a boring history of France) for about oh I'd say a year now.

What to do after the Da Vinci Code

So the other night (see "Friday before Memorial Day") we ended up getting out of work dreadfully late and went to see the Code at Lincoln Square. The 10:20 show got us out sometime close to 1am. After getting the car out of hock at a local garage we headed to the tunnel. On 39th Street between 8th and 9th there was an SUV in the middle of the block with a Puerto Rican girl standing on the running board yelling at two police officers across the street from her who were standing by a patrol car. The girl was being restrained by two large male friends dressed in oversized basketball attire. Then there's us, driving right through the middle of this scene in our BMW SUV with Jersey plates, two very geek-y white people blaring Barry White. We like to think it takes all kinds to make New York.

Friday before Memorial Day

Typically this would mean people would try and leave by 3pm. So, I mistakenly thought to myself, gee! maybe I could leave at 3, see the Da Vinci Code and get a pizza! Yeah, right. Try again, how about-- distribute the senior and mezzanine loan documents today before you leave, and oh, what about that title review, and by the way, don't forget to send out the list of all the stuff we need but haven't gotten from the borrower yet and not to mention, have you looked at that set of comments? Are you going to follow up? Huh? Huh? Are you? Are You? *POP* (head explodes), no Da Vinci Code for me.

"Power" Outage

"Thousands Stranded by Major Rail Power Outage"

Yesterday we got to the station and saw a not unfamiliar sight but one that always bears bad tidings-- a train on the platform, doors akimbo and passengers milling about on the platform. Anytime you see people on the platform in front of a train with its doors open and they are casually talking on cell phones or smoking rather than knocking each other to the ground to get on board its a sure sign that something is amiss. In this case it was power, or lack thereof, up and down the east coast from Washington to New York. So, we drove-- and ended up getting to work around 10:45 or so. That always goes over so well.

Jules Verne Kitty Van Winkle

I hate to be one of those people who knits and has cats, but what can I say, I'm one of those people who knits and has a cat (see title above). Further, I have to take this opportunity to wax poetic about my cat. I grew up with dogs and I have to say I don't believe that there are "cat people" and "dog people"-- I think you either like pets or you don't, and personally, I don't understand how anyone could not like having a pet. Sure, pets can shed and they can be messy and all of that, but nothing can bring you sheer goofy unadulterated joy like a dog or a cat-- yes, you can even ask me that while I'm using the steam cleaner to remove various pet-related stains from rugs and furniture. Miss Kitty can be fiercly independent but she can also be terrifyingly cute and cuddly. On more than one occasion over the past week I have found her sleeping in between the husband and I, a warm little hot water bottle tucked in between her two favorite people.

Rushmore

Okay, have to say it, I just love that damn movie! Yes the Royal Tennenbaums is a bit more quirky, but its much easier to identify with Max Fischer than Margot Tennenbaum (even if we love Gwyneth).

Day One.

Of bad week. It's always a bad sign when they tell you on Friday that it's going to be a bad week. So, tonight's dinner was chicken makhani and now I'm waiting for my car to take me home. Today I've already managed to spill yoplait on my Armani pants, almost choke on a chicken bone in the aforementioned makhani and encounter a lychee as part of lunch (tell me, who was the first person to actually eat a lychee? was it some sort of dare?-- I can say I've never quite mistaken a fruit for a scallop before).

WorkLifeBalance

If I have to have one more "theoretical" mind game conversation with one of my co-workers who appears to be desperately trying to determine whether I am on partnership track and/or whether I intend to start a family in the near future I think I may have to slit my wrists.

If you want to know what my plans are ask me. (And if you think I'm going to tell you, well, I don't need to finish the rest of that sentence).

Top 25 Most Played...

I love the function on my iPod that keeps track of my 25 most played songs. I'm not quite sure what this list says about my listening habits but here goes.

Tilt ya Head Back-- Nelly & Christina Aguillera
If You Could Read My Mind-- Amber
A Pirate Looks at Forty-- Jimmy Buffet
Wrong to Love You-- Chris Isaak
Bust a Move-- Young MC
One More Night-- Amber
The Way You Look Tonight-- Frank Sinatra
Lets Get Loud-- Jennifer Lopez
Save the Last Dance for Me-- Michael Buble
Somethin' Stupid-- Robbie Williams
Groove is in the Heart-- Dee Lite
Yesterday-- En Vogue
Me and Julio Down by the School Yard-- Paul Simon
Tempted-- Squeeze
Only the Lonely-- Chris Isaak
Memories are Made of This-- Dean Martin
I've Got You Under My Skin-- Frank Sinatra
Fly Me to the Moon-- Frank Sinatra
Glowworm-- The Mills Brothers
It Takes Two-- Rob Base
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps-- Doris Day
Clocks-- Coldplay
But Anyway--- Blues Traveler
Hot in Herre-- Nelly
Show Me Love-- Robyn

Happy Listening!

Gardening....

So, I think we may be the only people who would actually rent a 10 foot truck from Budget in order to buy plants for the backyard....

Note to Self re: Allergy Medicine

Took two benadryl. Apparently, two benadryl is roughly two benadryl too many.

Normally....

I hate taking the train. But, I haven't taken the train home in over a week-- every night we've been working late and taking cars. Each night later and later, no sense in buying groceries, who has time to make dinner? Instead it has been one bad set of take-out food, so much so that I'm starting to lose variety. First it was Mexican, then Indian, then Thai, then Japanese, then Thai again, then Italian and tonight Indian from a different place. At least my stomach is getting a taste of the outside world (though I'm not sure that is such a good thing!)

More Pictures...

Rose, "Stainless Steel" variety... This is one of the rose bushes which we planted on Saturday, okay, the husband actually planted it, I just said where it should go.








This is just pretty as a picture, isn't it? Thanks to tulips from Wegmans!

Nobu 57

So, everybody has been talking about Nobu 57. Not that Nobu itself is anything new, its been around for years, but either way I've never been. Much like how I became an iPod user (after thinking to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if there was a device where I could record all of my cds and carry them around with me", only to discover, yeah that's been around for a while-- its called an MP3 player! Hello!) I decided it would be a good idea to go. So, I made reservations for Friday at 5:45-- nothing like sushi as the early bird special.

The Husband was stuck in loan document drafting hell so 410e9th was nice enough to join me on 57th, no not 47th and not downtown, 57th!

Once we arrived we were informed that there would be a seating in "a few minutes", so after hanging out in the downstairs bar area we went on up to the "host" station. It was quite a scene, there were about 6 or 7 of us waiting to be directed, I felt much like we were at a ticket gate at Newark. One Asian man tried to co-op a seat by walking right past the host station-- this was not well received.

When it was our turn the maitre 'd gave us a good stare down before deciding what table we were worthy of. I being in jeans (though they were 7s, and I had my Chanel bag...) and 410 being in an Old Navy fleece, were regarded as strictly back of the house crowd. Or perhaps it was front of the house-- either way we were conspicuously seated away from the other customers and in a brightly lit area, perhaps with the thought that with lesser ambiance we might eat faster.

As for the food-- the miso cod was by all accounts a "bit fishy", the tempura rock shrimp was very tasty and the sushi was okay-- but honestly not the best I've ever had, and I don't know how much that says since I haven't had much sushi. It was also a first time for green tea for me, and I can honestly say I've never had tea before which actually curled my lip. Anti-oxidants or not, I'll take snapple over green tea any day. While it was certainly an experience-- especially once the two very Bergdorf Blondes with matching mink capes came and sat next to us (clearly the novelty t-shirts they were wearing under the mink subtracted from their fashion points if the end result was that they were seated next to Denim and Old Navy...)-- I doubt I'll rush back to make another reservation... though those rock shrimp were tasty!

Pictures from the Back Yard...

Thelma & Louise. A good synopsis.

So, I got the next phrase in a message from Lou:

"I collect cute younger men the way you collect designer bargains at outlet malls."

It is just too apropos and I had to post it! I'm scheduled to go to Woodbury Commons on Saturday!

Wicked.

"Did I hear the magic word: 'Tomorrow'"?
"That was just Anne leaving. On her broomstick."

Trust me, if you knew her, you'd agree, it's spot on.

So.

I have nothing new to add. How boring is that? I feel like my head is going to explode sometime in the near future and they have now turned off the a/c at "the job". Yes, for the past 9 hours it was like a meat locker, once 6pm hits all air circulation stops. I have no idea how long I will be here today and I have already been guilted into participating in "Administrative Professionals" day.

What is an "Adminsitrative Professional" any way? And why is April 26th like their Christmas? When are they going to have an "Associates" day, or just a "Professionals" day when perhaps the tables will be turned and the Administrative Professionals will actually do something helpful like send a fax or collate? Or perhaps a day when the HVAC system stays on all night...

Casting Call... continues

So, last night I got a call at around 8:30 from Grant Wilfley casting. It seems as though they want me to come back for a camera test to be the stand-in for the third principal actress in a new Disney movie. The only twist-- the third principal actress is a child. Not quite sure how I should feel about that. But apparently it would be enough work that I would be eligible to join SAG.... I'll keep you posted!

Casting Call, Day One

So this afternoon I went to the Metropolitan Pavillion where Grant Wilfley Casting Agency was holding a union/non-union open call for the Nanny Diaries.

It was quite a unique experience, considering that I've never done this before. They told us that we should be dressed for the part so on advice from the parents I went dressed as something I knew-- Lawyer. This of course, running the risk of raising eyebrows at the office, with co-workers ever vigilant that one might be escaping to go on an interview. I can't very well explain-- "no worries, I'm going for extra casting!!! wish me luck!"

Anyhoo, I waited from 1:30-3pm-- there were 200 people inside the building when I got there (apparently) and they each had to have their picture taken. Once that was done they let the next batch of 200 in the doors... me included. We went through rigamarole about filming dates, etc. Apparently, no weekends-- eek! and the whopping pay scale of $75.00 for 11 hours. At first I'm thinking, $75 per hour? No, try again, $75.00 total. I guess this is the Ted Turner school of employee pay scale-- you're getting paid just so we make it legal, really you should be paying us because you're getting experience.

Fine, when all of this is said and done I realize I am still like 182nd in line to get my picture taken and meanwhile the real job clock is ticking. So, I asked to go to the head of the line and surprisingly they let me! I filled out some forms and they took one polaroid and one digital picture-- the digital picture was a full length shot-- so good thing I was dressed up.

Out of the 200 in my group there were like 6 people in suits, the rest were in various states of casual dress-- with some of the women in socialite garb, but not many-- and there were nanny types (a few who actually brought live children with them as props!) and a few kids (word of warning right here-- I am *so* doing this when I have children!) and let's not forget some of the freaky people who were dressed like they were at the Renaissance Faire... they were clearly there for the fairy tale movie which was also being cast.

The upside is because I didn't have a head shot they didn't take my resume-- I guess that's good or bad-- at least they can't say they didn't want me because I have no experience, I guess if I get turned down its all based on my looks. Hmpf. I don't know how I feel about that.

Housework...

The housework continues. Today it was mostly painting the family room, which, much to my mom's dismay is also painted what can only be described as something else in the beige family. I know none of the rooms have any color, but after you paint one room red you'll soon realize that maybe sometimes with color less is more. I mean, I have one brown room (be it small), one khaki room and now all of the other rooms are just one in a long line of white/beige/cream/vanilla/bone/taupe, but all with much more exciting Ralph Lauren names like "Tennis Court White" (kitchen), "French Riveria" (hallways/foyer)-- We just couldn't bring ourselves to try "Italian Riveria", "Antique Lace" (guest room), "Sisal" (guest bathroom), and then the more abstract: "Trophy" (world's smallest bathroom), "Dovecoat" (bedroom) and now "Fairmont [fill in blank with made-up Ralph Lauren word]" (family room). We wanted to try Kew Place, and there's always "Mexican Feather Grass" but we just couldn't do it. Based on detailed scientific paint chip sample studies (namely, peeling paint on various windowsills) it appears that at some point in our home's not so distant past all surfaces were painted that green color which was popular for refrigerators and stoves in the 1970s (aka "Avocado") then, I'm thinking sometime circa 1983 all interior surfaces which were not otherwise hideously wallpapered were painted a color which either at inception, or though fading became "fleshtone". Do you know what its like to move into a house where all of the walls, trim, doors, ceilings, etc. are flesh color? It leads one to the maddedning task of painting. Something which has continued now for about two years. I noticed today, much to my dismay, that those areas which were painted first are now starting to look dingy. I'm starting to feel like the men who repaint the Eiffel Tower. By the time they reach the bottom, the top is ready for a new coat.

Dinner and Other Unique Events

So tonight it was stir fry. Stir fry is great because it is incredibly easy and you can actually feel like you may be eating healthy. Everytime I go to the grocery store I am taunted by the plastic bags they package your food goodies in with the mantra that you're supposed to be eating 5 fruits and/or vegetables everyday. Okay, when Taco Bell features significantly in one's diet, exactly how do you have 5 fruits or vegetables? How, Stir Fry, that's how!

This evening we hit a record-- 9 different vegetables, and that's not even distinguishing between the different mushroom types! We had bean sprouts (I can't get over how these things just practically melt when you cook them-- how cool is that??), red pepper, orange pepper, green pepper, onion, baby corn (yes! baby corn! can anyone tell me exactly what this stuff really is?), snow peas, zucchini (slices so thin it too practically melts!) and mushrooms (baby bella, shittake and oyster-- though the oyster personally scare me). Then we had some chicken and cashews, a little garlic, grated ginger and a lot of lemon. All of this over yellow rice! We'll not speak of all of the cadbury mini eggs which we had for desert, but dinner surely had to be healthy.

Next food stuff to conquer-- making home made hot and sour soup. I never really thought I would actually cook with tofu, but what the hell!

More Bathroom Pictures!

Knitting on Broadway

So, on Saturday we trekked in to town to see Miss Julia Roberts in "Three Days of Rain" on Broadway at the Jacobs Theater. I had mistakenly thought that I had bought tickets in Row F of the Orchestra, not realizing my seats were actually in Row F of the Mezzanine Orchestra... so our seats weren't the best, but the theater is small so we still got a good gander at the Pretty Woman.

The Husband insisted that I post a blog in his honor when he felt triumphant that Paul Rudd, co-staring with Jules, was the abusive boyfriend in the short-lived Fox series "Reunion". We spent much of the intermission feverishly blackberrying Mr. Rudd on IMDB to no avail. The Husband also insisted that Paul Rudd was also the fiance/husband to Kelli Williams in the Father of the Bride remakes. I am happy to say that I came out on top recalling that it was George Newbern in all accounts.

Ps. Jules was knitting in the first act-- she appeared to be working on the back piece of a green and blue striped sweater. What a fine endorsement for knitting in the work place!

Finally, it's all coming together...

So here's a picture of the drywall before joint compound...

Our construction foreman... she's in it for the benefits, really.

Here we are, after compounding...

Paint! This is Ralph Lauren "Trophy" let's not discuss our prior excursion with "Nantucket White", which was really not white at all, more like the color of melted coffee ice cream...

Finally, the tub! Which, somehow, miraculously, already has cat hair in it.

Wellness Cat Can Blowout

The above title is indicitive of spam in my inbox. Sure, I buy cat food over the internet one time, two years past, and yet weekly I'm getting things like: "Wellness Cat Can Blowout"

I've also managed to get associated with Old Navy, the Gap, both Saks and Neiman Marcus and something called "Shecky's."

Not to be outdone by clothing retailers, Crate and Barrel feels the need to alert me weekly to what new piece of ephemera they're stocking (at both regular Crate and Barrel and CB2 locations).

I purchased a fruitcake at Christmas and am now regularly inundated with both emails and catalogues from the Collin Street Bakery, yet I spent enough at Tiffany's to equal a fruitcake's weight in fine jewelry and I get bupkis.

Order customized M&Ms for your birthday? Expect to be receiving the M&M mailer approximately every two to three days, because after all, they feel the need to remind you every time someone has an M&M melt in their mouth and not in their hand.

Windsor Castle...

Okay, so I know this is totally lame, but I'm really enjoying the PBS documentary "A Royal Year" being a year in the life of Windsor Castle. I don't know how I'll feel about the last episode which covers the royal wedding of Charles and Camilla, but so far the first two episodes have been fun. There is something to be said for "reality" television!

Tomato and Bread Soup

So tonight we wanted something light-- so we went with Tomato and Bread soup. I had heard of this before and always wanted to try it and I had the chance when we were in Venice at a great little restaurant in Dorsoduro right in front of John Ruskin's house. For purposes of making it at home it's very easy (though I would have to say waiting until summer when tomatoes are actually in season would be wise...)

Tomato and Bread Soup:

4-5 ripe tomatoes (I like the "on the vine" kind)
2 cans diced tomatoes (try ones with seasoning already in the mix)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 fresh basil leaves, or more to taste
salt, pepper, oregano to taste
bit of olive oil, marsala wine and balsamic vinegar
Homemade croutons (toast up squares of fresh or day old bread-- preferably thick Italian bread)

Peel fresh tomatoes (use the old boiling water trick), and cut up into good size pieces. Set fresh cut tomatoes, two cans of diced tomatoes, garlic, wine and vinegar to simmer. Add spices and basil. Simmer for about 20-30 minutes, then add in croutons-- cook for a bit longer or until the croutons have expanded and gotten soft.

We had our soup with a caesar salad, bread & fresh cut parmesan cheese.

Tagged by Texas Jack

Miss Amy has sent me a "blog tag", so here goes.

A) Four jobs you have had in your life (oh, yeah-- look at the track record here!):

1. Resident Advisor/Program Assistant
2. Law School Computer Lab Help Desk Attendant
3. Law School Tour Guide
4. Attorney

B) Four movies you would watch over and over:

1. Manhattan Murder Mystery
2. You've Got Mail
3. Charade
4. Pulp Fiction (just to mix it up)

C) Four places you've called home:

1. Ithaca, New York
2. Paris, France (6 weeks, I'm counting it.)
3. New York, New York
4. Princeton, New Jersey

D) Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. Most things on PBS
2. Anything on the HD channel
3. Most reality tv (especially if crafts are involved, i.e. project runway!)
4. The Apprentice? The Amazing Race? Whatever has been Tivo'd?

E) Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Paris
2. Munich
3. Venice
4. Lake Como

F) Four websites I visit daily:

1. MSNBC
2. CNN
3. AOL
4. NYTimes (okay, so I'm boring)

G) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Chicken Fingers!
2. French Fries!
3. Taco Bell!
4. Helluva Good french onion dip! (with chips of course)

(Sorry, I can't compete with pork shoulder-- but I can make a mean pulled pork sandwich)

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. (See "four places you have been on vacation" above)
2.
3.
4.


Thanks to Amy! This has now been passed along to Ouisie in TX and our friend at 410.

Leaning Stone House of Princeton?

So, the following discussion occurred over the weekend while working on the bathroom.

The husband is putting together the half-wall. He has measured and even has a level working in the process-- the half wall stud structure looks terrific.

The husband has cut a piece of drywall to go on the outside of the half-wall.... he lines it up and it is mysteriously not plumb. In the middle of joint compounding, I look over and see that the top of the cut piece of drywall is the finished edge.

I say, with much authority, "well the finish edge on the top-- it should go on the bottom, maybe your cut isn't straight...."

then looking at it for another minute (the college degree wasn't kicking in very fast...) I realize that regardless of whether the cut edge is straight or not the top of the piece of drywall is aligned perfectly with the stud that frames out the top of the half-wall. The drywall meets the edge of the house at floor level, but then is about an inch and a half or two inches off plumb half way up the exterior wall.

For those of you who don't know, our house is *very* close to the road, but we have a large backyard.

I see this and say-- "Oh, the floor must be sagging-- look at it, its not straight."

The husband looks at this discrepancy and says: "The house is leaning." --our house is made of stone--

My response: "Like the Leaning tower of Pisa?" followed by, "at least its leaning away from the road."

Finally, once the level is actually used the husband concedes-- "I guess you're right, the floor is sagging."

Can't wait to see what happens when we bring in the 350 pound cast iron tub!

And the progress continues...

So, here's a further follow up on our progress...



Yes this means I was doing mudwork.



But Robert built our lovely little half wall, or as the industry calls it, a "knee wall".... this is where we hid the reproduction of the Declaration of Independence!

Project Runway

Okay, so last night was the big Project Runway finale. I think it is a complete travesty that Santino didn't win!! Sure, Chloe had potential and throughout the process she made some nice outfits but that show she put on was horrible. The fabrics she used all looked like the bad interior of a Thai restaurant circa 1984. Even Daniel's collection was better and he had those horrendous handbags. So-- our thought is since crazy Jay McCaroll didn't take the prize money or the Banana Republic design mentorship last year, we figure the sponsors put pressure on the judges to pick the person who they figured would most likely play ball. All I have to say about this is: "Where's Andrae?"

Update on the World's Smallest Bathroom

Here we are with new floor and some walls... why cover that new floor while working on it??? :)

Strawberry Hat!!

Here it is-- the Strawberry Hat!!

Core Temperature

All I have to say right now is that my office is like a fricking oven. Sure, it was supposed to have a low of like 16 degrees today so I'm here in a cashmere turtleneck, with long sleeve shirt underneath and a pair of fully lined wool pants and I'm roasting. Usually it's freezing cold in here, like an ice box, like they're trying to keep cadavers from decomposing, but today? Today I feel like I'm going through menopause on the surface of the sun.

Mayoral Sighting

So, last night on our way to a last minute dinner at the Rock Center Cafe (yes, for a 7:30 dinner on Valentine's Day we made our reservation at 7:18pm).... we ran in to Mayor Bloomberg. Literally. We were walking on 50th right by the entrance to The Rainbow Room and I notice this nicely dressed woman in my path and a black SUV on the street awaiting her. We move to the left, Husband puts us right in between this woman and a large body guard and BOOM! Right there, right in front of us, staring right at us is Mike Bloomberg. He's rather short in person so I hadn't seen that he was standing there until we were right in front of him (his date hid him well). Based on the timing it would seem like he had taken his Valentine date to get the early bird special.

Guy and Madge, Spills in Torino

So, is Madonna really headed for divorce?

And, why is NBC not replaying any Olympic falls/crashes/false footings, etc.? Sure it is awful and mean, and surely you don't want anyone to get hurt, but come on there's at least a part of each winter olympic viewer that is watching it for the falls. It proves that even the Wheatie box people are imperfect like the rest of us!

Blizzard Baking

So, we've supposedly had a blizzard. "A Blizzard of Historic proportions", according to Brian Williams of NBC. After Cornell I can say I have certainly seen more blizzardly weather behavior, but all in all we do have a lot of snow and I certainly wasn't leaving the house today.

So, we started out the day right-- I made scones, thanks to a mix from the King Arthur Flour people. Not bad, if I may say so myself-- the mix provided the all previously too confusing bit of baking power, baking soda and flour-- those have proved difficult to master before, this time I just had to dump the mix, some salt and cold butter into the 'uisinart and then add in whisked milk and egg!

So, not feeling like I had done enough random blizzard baking, I am now in the midst of making "artisanal" bread, thanks again to the 'uise. My dough ball is rising as we speak. To accompany this I will be making Pasta Fagoli. Usually I do this with the assistance of a mix from Alessi, for some odd reason I happen to have all of the other ingredients needed for the soup-- chicken broth, cannelini beans, chopped tomatoes, chopped spinach, cream, ditalini/wagon wheels (Husband's pasta preference), spices, etc. but no soup mix. Now it's just a question of whether there is some mysterious spice in the Alessi package which I will be missing.... wish me luck and we'll save a piece of bread for you!

ps. I randomly purchased a tomatillo the other day, any recipe suggestions are welcome!

Even more "Things you wish you hadn't heard"

So, twice today I have had those moments where singular words in other people's conversations pierce through the din of ambient noise and make a bold impression in my head.

The first was this morning on the train when the threatening looking youth sitting in the row behind me using his two way pager had the other participant in the conversation shout something to the effect of so-and-so being out on probation.

The second incident occurred at dinner at a hip french fusion place where the man at the next table suddenly elevated the level of his voice right when he started describing his current digestive troubles.

More from the Files of "Things You Wish You Hadn't Heard"

"I'm getting my nose done and my eyes done. I'm so excited!"

Annals of Fashion

Clearly I have hit some sort of bump in the road to living a fashionable life as I found myself last evening ordering a dress from the Isaac Mizrahi collection at Target.com

See Spot Save.

Lincoln Tunnel

So, I'm attempting to make my way back to New Jersey through the Lincoln Tunnel.

(Going was eventful as ever, getting stuck going through the two-way traffic tube)... and I manage to find myself behind what can only be described as the Rice-a-Roni streetcar. Yes it was some sort of Grayline tourist trolley "Hop-on, Hop-off" and it too was on its way to New Jersey. This would have been fine except I was in the right hand lane and the guy driving the Trolley is one of those people who *has* to go through the tunnel (and I'm sure bridges fall into this category too) on the left side.

Do you know one of these people? (Yes, Mom, you know you're one of them). Fine, so you have to drive on one side or another-- no problem, but can't you figure that out before you get to the tunnel/bridge/whatever??? Can't you adjust your route to the tunnel so that you approach it in the appropriate lane?? These are the same people who will pay their toll in the extreme left lane only to then have to cut across 37 lanes in order to go through the tube "on the right side". Advance planning folks-- it can save a lot of time.

Then, on top of it, the San Francisco Treat can't merge. He's made his way all the way from wherever and is now approximately one car length from the tunnel entrance and is STOPPED. Right there, trolley blinker on and making no effort to merge.

Meanwhile I have some psychopath from Pennsylvania in an old Jag trying to push my car into the traffic cones which seperate the lanes. Possibly the only people who drive worse than tourist trolley drivers are people from Pennsylvania.

Race to Dakar

Very sad to learn today that Charley Boorman has dropped out of the 6th stage of the Paris-to-Dakar Rally (which for some reason is the Lisbon-to-Dakar Rally this year). You can check out Charley's progress, or lack thereof, at Race to Dakar.

Personally, I'd like to see Lance Armstrong try his hand at this. Tour de France, Scmoor de France.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, MadLibs by iPod

Love don't live here anymore
Love don't love you
Love is here and now you're gone
Love is here to stay
Love is in the air
Love takes time

You're nobody till somebody loves you
You're okay
You're too good to be true
You've got to hide your love away
You always hurt the one you love
You can't always get what you want
You can't hurry love
You keep me hangin' on
You made me love you
You make lovin fun
You make me feel so young
You may be right
You only live twice

I'll be there
I'll fly away
I'll remember
I'll see you in my dreams
I'll tumble 4 ya
I'm forever blowing bubbles
I'm gonna make you love me
I'm in love again
I'm not here
I'm not waiting
I'm thru with love
I've got my love to keep me warm
I've got the world on a string
I've got you under my skin
I've heard that song before
I can't be with you
I can't get next to you
I could love a million girls
I could write a book
I get a kick out of you
I hear a symphony
I just called to say I love you
I just want to be your everything
I know where its at
I like it like that
I melt with you
I move on
I say a little prayer
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I try
I want a new drug
I want it all
If I had $100000000
If I had you
If I were you
If it makes you happy
If you could read my mind
If you love someone set them free

Chicken Salad

So, I order chicken salad.

What does that mean to you?

To me it means shredded up chicken bits mixed up with mayonnaise, possibly some salt, a little pepper and (if you're lucky) grapes and/or raisins.

Apparently, to the person behind the sandwich counter at Cucina, "chicken salad" means a chicken caesar wrap sandwich.

Of course, much like the time I was at Taco Bell and ended up with a "carne asada" gordita instead of a far superior "beef" gordita, it meant not opening up the wrapped up package until I was back at my desk.

Sometimes there is little pleasure in life.

Today it was supposed to be in the form of chicken salad.

I think I'll take dinner into my own hands.

The Smallest Bathroom in Middlesex County

So this was the bathroom
before we moved in.




This is the bathroom now.













Needless to say "work in progress" is an apt phrase. We got one quote for $41,125 to remodel. Geesh, for that kind of money you could buy a Porsche. Sure, it would be a small Porsche, but the bathroom isn't much bigger than a Porsche.

So far we've ordered:

Clawfoot Tub:
61", #811 with white feet

Faucets and Fixtures:

Leighton 27" Pedestal Sink, Fairfax Faucet, brushed chrome (hoping this matches the "vibrant brushed nickel", see below).

Rialto Toilet (a running joke, no pun intended... this is apparently billed as "the smallest toilet on the market" yet everyone but us seems to hate it)

And, for the tub, and approximately as much as the tub (okay, more than the tub as the husband keeps reminding me)....Finial Bath Faucet with handshower and metal lever handles in "vibrant brushed nickel"

"Vibrant brushed nickel" is just another way to say 30% more for no good reason other than you'll pay it. I'd take "dull, impersonal brushed nickel", if I could get it for 10% less, do you have that?

By the way, those attractive delft sea creature tiles shown in picture #1 above will be available for purchase on Ebay. Didn't have a chance to buy a piece of the Berlin Wall when communism fell? At least you can have a piece of our bathroom.

410e9th

So finally, we've had a new entry into the blogosphere. http://www.410e9th.blogspot.com I have very high expectations.

Miami

So, we went to Miami.

Took 1 valium at 2am night before flight, woke up at 4:45am to get to the airport. Arrive at airport at 6:15-- flight's at 7am. Forgot my ipod. Need the ipod to drown out frightening mechanical sounds of engines, etc. Get McDonald's, board the flight. Step on the plane and it smelled funny, was hot and children were screaming-- it was like a zoo. I said to myself, this is bad, very, very bad.

Get to our seats-- 18 E, F-- I'm in a window. I need the aisle. 18 is too far back in the plane, the seats were like the width of seats you'd sit in in elementary school. The seat in front of me was right in your face. I pack myself in to the seat with my bag, husband's bag, etc. Start to eat McDonalds-- take 2 more valium.

Did I mention it was hot? It was like Dante's inferno in there. For whatever reason I'm like a woman in menopause--- if the body temperature gets out of wack bad things happen. I strip off my jacket, scarf, cardigan. The place was dimly lit, there were the aforementioned screaming children, all it needed was chickens and goats to start walking up and down the aisle. It wasn't a 737-300, it was an decomissioned school bus you'd expect to be driven through the Andes in. Then the pilot announces that we'll be waiting at the gate for a few minutes because of a "maintenance" problem. He doesn't say they need to refuel, that they're moving bags or that they're refilling the peanuts and snacks. No, "maintenance". This coupled with the heat, humidity and screaming children made me say-- I'm getting OFF.

Yes, I got off the plane-- I'm crying hysterically and I gather my stuff and get off. Yes, I was that person causing a scene getting off of the airplane. Husband stays on the plane and I get off. I call my parents. Am told not to drive anywhere because of the 3 valium in the system-- sound advice, especially since I'm not driving a Pinto that's paid off.

Husband calls on the other line-- the fuel pump on the plane is broken, they are going to do a change of equipment. A-HA! Vindication! Fuel pump--- that's big, that's an issue, that's a "this thing is going down" kind of maintenance problem! Finally, they changed planes and Robert got on the new plane.

SO. I decided to suck it up and board-- I figured what are the odds of two crash worthy maintenance problems happening to the same group of passengers?? I make the gate agent promise that the plane won't crash. In the event it does, perhaps this, even being hearsay might be a great claim for liability. I miraculously got a seat at a window, but in an exit row so there was no seat in front of me. By the time we taxied the valium had started to take effect.

Then-- I decided this was a perfect time to knit. I'm making a baby hat which involves adding a color occasionally (it will be a strawberry when it's finished). So here I am on the valium and I'm trying to knit. So of course I read the pattern wrong and have to rip out 2 rows of work. Fine, except I'm using circular needles and this fricking really thin yarn, so I rip out the stitches but then some of them drop out-- which means now I'm trying to re-thread this yarn on to my circular needle and I have to actually pick up dropped stitches with a super thin little sewing needle. I'm going blind as it is and here I am valium-ed up and trying to do this-- it was truly idiotic.

Flight back, not much better, got in to a fight with the Continental gate agent about seats. But now I am ready to book a trip to Italy!

The London Underground Map

Reminiscing over the advent of the London Underground Map-- hailed as a modern marvel of graphic design and inspiration for subway maps the world over-- London Transports' Assistant Secretary and Works Officer, Paul E. Garbutt, unwittingly summed up the English mind:

"Christmas, I think Christmas 1963, I thought, 'I'd run out of crossword puzzles so I'll try and redesign the map...'"

An Asian Man, a Hasidic Man and My Husband get in a cab...

So there's a transit strike. That means hoofing it from Penn Station. This would be all fine and good but for the fact that last night at around 1:30am I managed to get a giant splinter wedged very far into the "ball" of my foot. This required minor surgery to be performed to extract said splinter. (This, I find, is the danger of hard wood floors, even when wearing socks). So this meant that this morning the foot was a bit too sore to walk the 16 blocks from Penn in the cold to the Job. Compounding matters is the fact that yesterday a co-worker remarked on how short I really am since I have been wearing flat shoes at the office for the past few days. Thanks, and you look uglier than usual. So, I've got the de-splintered foot and I'm wearing heeled shoes.

This means getting a cab. Thanks to New York's draconian taxi rules-- we're sharing, hence the subject line. We managed to hail down a cab going uptown and in it are two passengers-- a young banker type Asian guy and a Hasidic man. Add in the two commuters from Jersey and the slightly overweight Filipino cab driver and its a true cross-section of NY. From the moment we got in the cab the Hasidic man is gabbing on the phone at full blast, talking a mile a minute with some kind of lisp. We're hearing all about how Avi can't come to Shabbat and someone else's son has been seeing a psychiatrist, etc., etc. Finally, he gets off the phone and starts to kvetch to the Asian guy about how people just can't get along. The Asian man says nothing. Silence. Finally the Hasic man says: "What, you speak english?" The Asian man says, very seriously: "Yes."

Then we were at 47th street and the party had to break up.

Friday

Okay, so there was no transit strike (well, sort of, about 750 people who work on various bus lines in Queens didn't show up, but what good does that do me?) and this means I'm at work.

Of course, since there was the threat of a transit strike this was the perfect opportunity for New Jersey Transit to decide to do "emergency" track work between Princeton and New Brunswick. This meant that all trains ran on the express track-- sounds good, right? Except for the fact that the train station platform has a small problem (that being, the local track) that is between it and the express track. What, prey tell, do NJT riders have to do in this instance? Why rush down to the very end of the platform, which I believe is technically in Hamilton, NJ and cram on to a small staircase to cross the local track on wooden boards. This, in transit lingo, is called "low platforming".

Low platforming wouldn't be bad, technically, if I didn't park my car at the very opposite end of the platform (quite possibly being located in Plainsboro, NJ) and if it didn't seem like everyone and his fifth cousin were trying to take the train today. We all ran down to the end of the platform only to be herded and then to watch the train that was waiting for us pull away. Yes, that's right, no announcement, no information-- the train just pulls away with roughly 200 people still waiting to board. It's like the transit lottery. Am I going to get to my destination today? Hey, you never know.

Ps.

Okay, so apparently, I am someone's 18th favorite blogger. I'm desperately hoping to move up on the list, hence the two postings below. Hoping all is clever and meeting your expectations.

Love and Kisses, Wonder Warthog.

Look for the Union Label. Transit Strike!

Transit Strike, it's like we're back in the '70's, how retro! I say Strike! Strike! Strike! Anderson Cooper can be appalled standing in front of a locked subway entrance and based on the Mayor and the Office of Emergency Management's Strike Action Plan, apparently those of us that live in Jersey can just go to Hell. Or, in my case, sleep in and work from home. Yes!

Memo to Everyone: Co-Worker is Out Sick.

You, however, can get as sick as you want. It won't matter. You can stay home, on your death bed. It won't matter. You will still be expected to work. And work. And work. I just wanted to be clear on that. Thanks.

So! Attached is a picture of my first official vegetable hat! Yes, that's Boo-Boo Kitty under there.

Brunch Rules, per Jake's Request.

Before making brunch plans it is very important to familiarize yourself with the Rules of Brunch.

First Rule of Brunch: The restaurant has to either (i) take reservations or (ii) not be popular enough to have a wait.

Second Rule of Brunch: Brunch must be located in Manhattan. Not Brooklyn, not the Bronx, not New Jersey (in New Jersey there are only diners, which, while satisfying clause (ii) of Rule #1, fails by virtue of the fact that diners really should not be considered restaurants in the first place.) Queens is also out of the question, as is Westchester and Connecticut. Don't even consider bringing Staten Island into the picture.

Third Rule of Brunch: For clarification of Rule #2, "Manhattan" means below 96th Street and preferably above Canal.

Fourth Rule of Brunch: Skim Chocolate Milk Availability is a must.