Handsome Rob

The New York Times Sunday Style section has this neat little article entitled "A Night out With..." each week. Imagine my happy surprise when this week's installment was "A Night out with Jason Statham". I ask, who doesn't like Jason Statham? Great in Lock, Stock, Snatch, the Italian Job and even, yes, the Transporter and Transporter 2. I guess this means I'll have to go and see Crank.

Tournament of Champions

This evening we actually got home early enough to watch Jeopardy! For those of you that know me, you may remember my little stint last year of trying out to be on Jeopardy! I was denied, but the life long dream lives on. Regardless, this week happens to be the Tournament of Champions.

Let me tell you, though the tournament is technically the cream of the crop of Jeopardy! Contestants, its a really scary look at humanity. As you'd typically expect of the eight final contestants 7 are men, and the one woman looks like a librarian from the dustbowl. Of the 7 men, 6 of the 7 had really silly eyeglasses, bad hair cuts and generally looked like real brainiacs. It's times like this when you realize why they don't televise the awarding of the Nobel Prizes.

This whole thing got me thinking. What if my cat were a contestant on Jeopardy!? I've had these dreams before, like the time I envisioned her on the "Apprentice" where her only response in the Boardroom to a hard grilling by Donald Trump and his cronies would be "Brrr!"

Same thing on Jeopardy! Personally, I think she would be a natural. Especially if she got good categories such as, "Famous Mice", "Types of Fish" and of course, the old favorite, "Balls of Yarn". She is, after all, a French cat, so we know she would do well on questions relating to food, wine and style. Given her background in feline history she would also do well with any categories relating to Ancient Egypt, her downfall would be "Dogs" and anything having to do with curiosity.

I bet you didn't know this would happen...

I received the following email chain this afternoon.
______________________________________________
From: Corporate Big Wig
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Please be advised that all logs for the period ending August 31, 2006 must be entered and finalized by 4:00 p.m. LOCAL TIME on Friday, September 1, 2006.


______________________________________________
From: Head Honcho Bossy-Boss Guy
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Some of Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Everyone.

See the email above. I don't like these deadlines anymore then you, but be advised that I expect everyone's time for the month of August to be in the system within the deadline set forth below--that means TOMORROW.


-----Original Message-----
From: Tip-Top Corporate Beancounter
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 6:13 PM
To: Back to Everyone ! US
Subject: Time Entry

This is very important for many reasons. Please comply with this request.

______________________________________________________

Secret to the Universe decoded by email messages sent to Corporate Drone:

This *IS* very important, for many reasons... none of which we're going to tell you...

Such as:

A) If you don’t comply with this request, time, as a scientific concept, as we know it will come to a screeching halt. Planets will collide, generally bad news for everybody.

B) Interest rates will go up

C) Al Gore will grow another goofy beard.

D) Toilets all over the Northern Hemisphere will start flushing in the opposite direction and in Australia, they will come to a complete standstill.

E) Lindsay Lohan will be awarded the Irving Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Award.

F) Legwarmers will come back into style (ha! told you so.)

Passwords...

Why is it that everything is password protected these days? And, every time you go to buy something on the internet they want you to set up an "account" (yes, I know this is a bit like Kramer asking why Radio Shack needs your phone number)...

Now, its not only enough for you to have to have a password, but for instance, at the job I have to change my password every 6 months. Yes, because I'm really working on some top secret spy-worthy cryptic information like the schematic for the space shuttle or something. Fine, so when I started work I was given a password. It meant nothing to me but I wasn't paying attention in computer training in order to learn how to change it to something meaningful so I stuck with it. It has a number in it. Every time I'm prompted to change my password I just change the number. Now, that's not enough. Nope, not at all. Now I can't use the same password that I've used before. It has a memory of at least my last five passwords. There is no rhyme or reason to the numbers that I've chosen so the last time I had to change the damn thing I had to go through every possible iteration until I found the number I haven't used in the last five passwords.

Sure, you probably are saying to yourself what's the big deal, who cares, what's another password. I'll tell you what another password is-- it's between the password and my home address. There's only so much room left up there in the old brain. Something's got to go. And just think, if I didn't have to be wasting my time with this whole password thing I might actually be able to get some work done!

Strange....

So earlier my office smelled like feet (or the bread they make at Subway, take your pick), now it smells like burning candle wax. Between that and the whole "having to work" thing, this whole "job" is getting to be a bit much.

I'll huff and I'll puff...

Now I can identify with the three little pigs. When you live in central New Jersey you typically don't expect to wake up and find part of a tree sticking out of your family room.

More things you don't expect to hear....

including a William-F.-Buckley-Eqsue co-worker using the words "edible panties" and "horse trailer" in the same sentence.

T-Shirts...

So for the next time you want to make your own Snakes on a Plane t-shirt replete with Samuel L. Jackson quotes, visit Zazzle.

Emmy's...

Yup, Billy Bush, the president's cousin, called Evangeline Lilly's gown a "Versach"

Prada, Day Two

After checking on the website and finding that mark-downs for Thursday were up to 75% off of wholesale, I decided to head back to the Fuller building for my second "appointment" at the sale. There were a handful of sweaters left, each needing a visit to the reweaver, lots of mens shoes and suits and lots of strange pants. I ended up with two pair of pants, each at $25 a piece. The upside is at least one pair is red, matching the handbag from Tuesday!

Hmpf.

I'm not quite sure what any of this means, but it was on Ana's page and I thought it was interesting...





take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.

410e9th

Okay so 410e9th is really slacking. No new posts since June! What's with that!?! I guess after (gasp!) turning 30 he thinks's he's got better things to do???

Samples...

So I managed to walk away with two pair of shoes and a handbag! Not bad for day 2 of the Prada Sample Sale (yesterday was open only to employees and the "press"). I did have in my hands for a few moments a gorgeous buttery leather handbag that was so very chic, but I'm afraid I wasn't willing to part with $600. I also found a great Miu Miu skirt and sweater, only to after closer inspection, find holes. Damn!

The two pair of shoes and the bag, however, are perfect.

Now, we'll see what Thursday brings.

Long Way Down

Rumor has it Ewan and Charley will be at it again come 2007, riding from John O'Groats, Scotland to Capetown. Hopefully Claudio will remember his passport this time!

Chris Isaak

So last night was the Chris Isaak concert-- we had tickets to see him last year in Boston but misplaced the tickets and then ended up having to work anyway (lame, I know) and tried (but not too hard) to make a last minute trip to see him at the Borgata in Atlantic City, then finally, he was actually scheduled for a date in New York. Booked the tickets in May, got 10th row (not bad) and it was at the Beacon.

While we were waiting to go to our seats (after having been browbeaten by the ushers for trying to enter the auditorium too early-- who knew 7:40 was too early for an 8pm show) I noticed two girls near me who were talking to an odd looking guy with a headset and a set list. I heard him say something about "Blue Spanish Sky" and the girls looked both confused and kind of excited and after he left they seemed to be wondering whether he was for real (turns out the girls were brought up on stage right before the final song to dance with the band.... now if only I had been wearing a flirty top instead of a cardigan maybe that could have been me-- my cardigan did have leopard print trim, shouldn't that count for something???)

Tristan Prettyman opened (in advance of the performance I had no idea who this person was so I was taking bets with the husband as to whether Tristan was a native american man... turns out Tristan is a 24 year old girl who can play a mean guitar!) She totally inspired me to get the guitar out of the hall closet and try again with lessons (ha! like I have time for that, one can dream...) anyhoo, the Beacon theater's not that big of a place and Tristan came out to the "merch table" after her performance and signed cds which was neat (and even more neat that her performance made you want to buy her cd!) Of course, as usual, the intermission was also punctuated by a call to the Job. Vacationing co-worker felt the need to call every possible number for me and leave blackberry messages in order to alert me to the fact that I needed to do something immediately, oh, no, wait, it can wait until tomorrow morning, but you have to call at 9:30am, on the dot, not a minute later, 9:30. Why not send smoke signals and call my mom next time too???

Finally, for the show-- Chris and the band looked like they were having a lot of fun and the audience size was small enough that it still felt intimate rather than a ginormous venue. The songs were mixed between full band with acoustic numbers thrown in and you know you're getting old when you prefer acoustic music because it's less loud. In true New York fashion I had to yell at two women sitting in front of us who were getting drunker by the moment and kept shouting through all of the music (interspersed with their constant getting up and leaving their row, much to the dismay of the four people who were between them and the aisle). I felt vindicated, however, when I was thanked by the woman who was sitting next to them.

All in all a great night, and how often can you say you saw someone perform in a suit made to look like a giant disco ball?

Talledega Nights

Okay, so it was stupid. But sometimes stupid can be funny!

Train Gang

I think it is kind of funny how there is a little gang of people who all stand at the same spot on the train platform every morning. Back when we used to take the 7:56 Amtrak there was the foursome affectionately known as "the Russians" who we would often have to battle for seats. Nowadays we rarely see more than one or two of them at a time due to changes in the timetables, but as with each new train schedule, new groups emerge. Today on the platform was the British guy who looks like a cross between the evil boss from "Thirtysomething" and Gary Oldman with a pencil thin moustache. It is very hard to take anyone seriously who has a pencil thin moustache, even more hard when they show up on the platform in pink and white gingham trousers. He managed to pull off the look but it was very Lilly Pulitzer. Then there is the mysterious Indian guy in his thirties who never has anything with him other than a cell phone (and occasionally a provocatively titled book-- something about HSBC being "the Devil's bank"???) and of course, the card shuffler. The card shuffler is a man in his late fifties or early sixties (who oddly enough also works in my office building) and used to be the dealer on various interstate poker games on the old Amtrak. Due to the seating configurations on NJT trains, thankfully poker playing is no longer convienent. Many a trip I had wanted to rip the cards out of his hand, give him a $5 bill and then throw the deck off the train. People would settle up their scores upon reaching Penn Station and money would change hands, this practice never troubled the conductors, though let a little old lady get on in New Brunswick with an RTX fare her butt would get booted off the train by the time we reached Newark.

One Small Step...

Have you heard that NASA has "misplaced" its original tapes of the Lunar Landing? But don't worry, they have film footage of the broadcasts of the landing so the images aren't lost for ever, just the *originals*! Does anyone think this is a bit fishy? I'm thinking all those moon landing conspiracy theorists are saying "I told you so" right about now. Now there isn't any filmic evidence that the whole thing was just staged out in Burbank. Next we'll find out the "Mars" images are from Red Rocks.

Project Runway...

This season's slug of designers on PR is just not nearly as exciting as last season, what with no clear "Santino" of the bunch, and not even an Austin Scarlett. But, I will say, Laura Bennett has grown on me. Very prim and proper and every now and again she curses like a sailor. Its a bit unexpected and it works. As Tim Gunn would say, "Carry on!"

Sample Sales...

So ladies and gentlemen, I have been monitoring the internet for a month. Waiting and logging on to the Prada Sample Sale website to see whether it was open for business. Finally, last night at about 10:30 the flood gates opened. They were taking reservations. I'm in. I managed to snag one appointment on the first day of the sale (though I could have gone in at 9am I opted for a noon slot-- we'll see if this was a mistake...) hoping to get my hands on some handbags or shoes. And another appointment on the second to last day (which is when I went last year...) Last year's purchases included a purple cashmere shell, a fabulous cashmere and silk grey cardigan, an ostrich skirt (yes, PETA be damned, it's real ostrich, I'm sorry!!) and the only regrettable purchase-- a pair of suede pants. Note to self-- next time, try not to purchase suede pants with lining made out of the same material as a bag of Lays potato chips.

Also right on time from last year is the reappearance of the Hermes sample sale. Last year all I got from the sale was a lousy tie (actually, it was a quite nice tie, but last time I checked I don't wear ties that often, so clearly it was a bauble for the husband). Unfortunately this sale has been moved from 61st Street to the Metropolitan Pavilion. Regardless, work permitting, I will be hopping on the subway in between Prada appointments. ;)

I know, its a sickness. At least I'll be well dressed.