Thursday, December 22, 2005

An Asian Man, a Hasidic Man and My Husband get in a cab...

So there's a transit strike. That means hoofing it from Penn Station. This would be all fine and good but for the fact that last night at around 1:30am I managed to get a giant splinter wedged very far into the "ball" of my foot. This required minor surgery to be performed to extract said splinter. (This, I find, is the danger of hard wood floors, even when wearing socks). So this meant that this morning the foot was a bit too sore to walk the 16 blocks from Penn in the cold to the Job. Compounding matters is the fact that yesterday a co-worker remarked on how short I really am since I have been wearing flat shoes at the office for the past few days. Thanks, and you look uglier than usual. So, I've got the de-splintered foot and I'm wearing heeled shoes.

This means getting a cab. Thanks to New York's draconian taxi rules-- we're sharing, hence the subject line. We managed to hail down a cab going uptown and in it are two passengers-- a young banker type Asian guy and a Hasidic man. Add in the two commuters from Jersey and the slightly overweight Filipino cab driver and its a true cross-section of NY. From the moment we got in the cab the Hasidic man is gabbing on the phone at full blast, talking a mile a minute with some kind of lisp. We're hearing all about how Avi can't come to Shabbat and someone else's son has been seeing a psychiatrist, etc., etc. Finally, he gets off the phone and starts to kvetch to the Asian guy about how people just can't get along. The Asian man says nothing. Silence. Finally the Hasic man says: "What, you speak english?" The Asian man says, very seriously: "Yes."

Then we were at 47th street and the party had to break up.

Friday, December 16, 2005


Okay, so there was no transit strike (well, sort of, about 750 people who work on various bus lines in Queens didn't show up, but what good does that do me?) and this means I'm at work.

Of course, since there was the threat of a transit strike this was the perfect opportunity for New Jersey Transit to decide to do "emergency" track work between Princeton and New Brunswick. This meant that all trains ran on the express track-- sounds good, right? Except for the fact that the train station platform has a small problem (that being, the local track) that is between it and the express track. What, prey tell, do NJT riders have to do in this instance? Why rush down to the very end of the platform, which I believe is technically in Hamilton, NJ and cram on to a small staircase to cross the local track on wooden boards. This, in transit lingo, is called "low platforming".

Low platforming wouldn't be bad, technically, if I didn't park my car at the very opposite end of the platform (quite possibly being located in Plainsboro, NJ) and if it didn't seem like everyone and his fifth cousin were trying to take the train today. We all ran down to the end of the platform only to be herded and then to watch the train that was waiting for us pull away. Yes, that's right, no announcement, no information-- the train just pulls away with roughly 200 people still waiting to board. It's like the transit lottery. Am I going to get to my destination today? Hey, you never know.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Okay, so apparently, I am someone's 18th favorite blogger. I'm desperately hoping to move up on the list, hence the two postings below. Hoping all is clever and meeting your expectations.

Love and Kisses, Wonder Warthog.

Look for the Union Label. Transit Strike!

Transit Strike, it's like we're back in the '70's, how retro! I say Strike! Strike! Strike! Anderson Cooper can be appalled standing in front of a locked subway entrance and based on the Mayor and the Office of Emergency Management's Strike Action Plan, apparently those of us that live in Jersey can just go to Hell. Or, in my case, sleep in and work from home. Yes!

Memo to Everyone: Co-Worker is Out Sick.

You, however, can get as sick as you want. It won't matter. You can stay home, on your death bed. It won't matter. You will still be expected to work. And work. And work. I just wanted to be clear on that. Thanks.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

So! Attached is a picture of my first official vegetable hat! Yes, that's Boo-Boo Kitty under there.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Brunch Rules, per Jake's Request.

Before making brunch plans it is very important to familiarize yourself with the Rules of Brunch.

First Rule of Brunch: The restaurant has to either (i) take reservations or (ii) not be popular enough to have a wait.

Second Rule of Brunch: Brunch must be located in Manhattan. Not Brooklyn, not the Bronx, not New Jersey (in New Jersey there are only diners, which, while satisfying clause (ii) of Rule #1, fails by virtue of the fact that diners really should not be considered restaurants in the first place.) Queens is also out of the question, as is Westchester and Connecticut. Don't even consider bringing Staten Island into the picture.

Third Rule of Brunch: For clarification of Rule #2, "Manhattan" means below 96th Street and preferably above Canal.

Fourth Rule of Brunch: Skim Chocolate Milk Availability is a must.