Brunch Rules, per Jake's Request.

Before making brunch plans it is very important to familiarize yourself with the Rules of Brunch.

First Rule of Brunch: The restaurant has to either (i) take reservations or (ii) not be popular enough to have a wait.

Second Rule of Brunch: Brunch must be located in Manhattan. Not Brooklyn, not the Bronx, not New Jersey (in New Jersey there are only diners, which, while satisfying clause (ii) of Rule #1, fails by virtue of the fact that diners really should not be considered restaurants in the first place.) Queens is also out of the question, as is Westchester and Connecticut. Don't even consider bringing Staten Island into the picture.

Third Rule of Brunch: For clarification of Rule #2, "Manhattan" means below 96th Street and preferably above Canal.

Fourth Rule of Brunch: Skim Chocolate Milk Availability is a must.