Monday, November 28, 2005

Speakerphone and Secret Santa

Why do some people have to use speakerphone constantly, with their doors open, while they shout? Do I really need to be a part of your conversation? Should I be able to weigh in on the points under discussion? Why should I have to be the person who has to close their door? I'm not making any NOISE! Yes, I am hostile. I hate speakerphone. When you are by yourself you don't need to use speakerphone--- oooohhh, you have to have your "hands free"--buy a fricking headset or close your door!

The speakerphone user also instituted a mandatory "lets buy holiday gifts for staff members" campaign and guess what, you owe me $30.00. Had I been approached with "hey, I thought it might be nice if we chip in and buy Bingo a gift certificate, what do you think?" I'd happily contribute, but being sent an email from a minion saying: "I was told to get $30.00 from you" seems like extortion and we're not even doing Secret Santa. Based on the discussion of speakerphone use listed above I'm sure you can tell how I reacted. I'm not parting with my $30.00.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Ring of Fire

Why is it that it is 1:03 am and I am still awake listening to bad iPod music?

No Heat.

Once again we have no heat in the family room. Which, once again means no TiVo. Apparently, the heating system relies on water from the well as part of its Rube-Goldberg-esque mechanism and hell the well pump broke down sometime during the summer months. At the time we thought it just meant we couldn't use the outside spigots, so we were washing the car at the local Shell station and not thinking much of it. Who connects their heating system to the "well" which is located nowhere near anything??? Goal for this week-- heat before thanksgiving. Worse comes to worse we'll be lighting a fire, thank goodness we do actually have a woodburning stove, not that we've been told that's safe to use. Worse, worse comes to worse we'll be relocating TiVo or using one of our never-used "South Brunswick" recycling barrels to start a small trash fire, that might work.

Monday, November 14, 2005


I was part of a small riot at H&M. The new Stella McCartney collection came in on Thursday and the women were like sharks in a feeding frenzy-- once the new merchandise was put out for sale the security guards were only letting four shoppers at a time into the "Stella" area-- yeah, that lasted for about 2 seconds then suddenly all these women just started pushing past the security guards, climbing over the displays and ripping the items off their hangers-- and then throwing clothes back at the pack-- people were shouting: "Is that a small??? Throw it to me!"

I have never quite seen anything like it.
It was like the Beatles and Elvis and Tom Cruise all got together and were sitting naked in the middle of the H&M store.

I was proud of myself though. I managed to pull together a matching outfit-- all in my size! It was pure luck (and I had to buy the pants 3 times since I kept finding smaller sizes, first it was a ten, then an eight, then a four-- all the while I'm thinking, I guess I can get them altered, what the hell is a size 40!?!)