Royale with Cheese

Okay, so I don't mean to be politically incorrect, but I have to make a statement. Food establishments should refrain from staffing the order taking/cashier positions with folks who haven't yet learned to speak english. If you want to hire people who are still mastering the language, try staffing non-customer related positions like food preparation, clean-up (of course, provided that other staff members can act as translators...) but it's kind of problematic for customers if you give your order to a person who doesn't understand what you're saying. If I wanted to teach an english as a second language course I'd volunteer at my local library, when I want to order a sandwich I'm not looking for it to be a learning experience for all involved.

Case in point, every time I go to the local Panera it's a crap shoot as to what I'm actually going to get. The first time I noticed this I was with the Husband and we each got only half of what we ordered. I got the soup I was supposed to get but my sandwich was entirely wrong, the Husband got his sandwich and it was correct but his soup order was left off. I went back with the Parents and this time we got the reciept with our order and then had to proceed to work with the manager of the place to actually establish what it was we ordered (confirming that indeed we didn't order four soups, one sandwich and a half sandwich (for three people), but three soups and two sandwiches.

Tonight things got even better. We went to Burger King (admittedly, our first mistake). We ordered a king size number 9 (chicken sandwich, king size fries, king size coke), a king size number 4 (whopper, jr. with cheese, no mayo, no pickle, no onion, no lettuce, king size fries, king size coke) and a medium onion ring.

What did we get in return? Upon our arrival home it turns out in the bag was one King Size fry, one King Size Onion Ring, a chicken sandwich and a double Whopper (no cheese) with mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickles.

I'm 32 and I couldn't tell you the last time I ate a hamburger, let alone a double hamburger. Burgers are all about the cheese, indeed it's really the only reason to eat them. So there I am and my cut of this bag of goodies is a double whopper and a king size onion ring. If I didn't have a heart attack after that meal I guess I'll be good for the next 50 years. What's further disappointing is that I've never ordered a Whopper before, certainly not a double one. I've always stuck to the Whopper, jr. Just like at McDonald's in my youth I only ever used to order the quarter pounder (with cheese). Then there was a long stretch where I wouldn't eat any meat so it was only McNuggets, then (since pregnancy, mostly) my burger order at McDonald's has been demoted down to just a regular cheeseburger. I have to say that I always envisioned that if I went for the giant burger it would be a Big Mac. (While Burger King's fries are very tasty, I'll always be a McDonald's loyalist).

"Big Mac is a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac."
"Le Big Mac.... what do they call a Whopper?"
"I don't know, I didn't go into a Burger King."