Monday, August 30, 2010

Have you ever had one of those days?

Perhaps, one of those days that starts out with you getting up at 4:30 am and loading yourself, your toddler and your labradoodle puppy into your car for a drive to Virginia?

Then, about 24 minutes into that drive, when you find yourself on I-295 somewhere between Trenton and Burlington, New Jersey, through a construction zone, said labradoodle decides its a good time to fully empty out his intesines and bladder?

So, you next find yourself pulled over in the parking lot of a Dunkin Donuts, in the dark, without a leash for the dog trying to clean out a crate (and the only cleaning products you can locate besides paper towel are (a) wheel and tire cleaner and (b) leather cleaner.)

A few minutes later you may find yourself trying to end a conversation with a trucker who happened to also stop at the DD and now wants to know what kind of dog you have.

Then, you'll get back in the car and start over.

Until you're in the middle of Maryland and you realize (x) you have not packed shoes for your child and (y) that said labradoodle has decided now would be the perfect time to get car sick, twice.

Thank god for the 3G network and Wal-Mart is all I have to say. Yup, next I found myself and Miss B. hitting up the aisles of the Towson Wal-Mart (which just happened to be having some work done on its sewer system so the whole exterior of the place was as similarly stinky as the dog carrier...)

As an aside... you know you're purchasing your pet care products at Wal-Mart when the puppy pads you buy have a picture of a NASCAR car and driver on them.

Back in the car, everybody... (Sorry, by the way, Towson Wal-Mart employees, for the green fleece blanket that was left in your parking lot.)

One last stop? Of course, before we get to the "Farm" we had to pull over on the side of Route 340 for yet another bathroom break. (Standing, on the side of the road while 18-wheelers blow past at 65)...

Then we visited the farm and made an exchange. Pound for pound this "breeder" (aka Dr. Moreau) is making a mint.

On the way back? Well, nothing can be easy, can it? Of course not. See prior post re: arch nemesis. Arch Nemesis (aka "Suuuuu-san") scheduled a conference call which I had to be on for 12pm. At 11:54 I was approaching a Chick-Fil-A in West Virginia with the hopes that I would be able to distract Miss B. long enough with french fries and chicken while I was talking title and survey.

Did this work? Sort of. For much of the call I had to stand outside the drivers side door of my car with a cell phone in one hand balancing a laptop in the other. (Oh, and did I mention that we drove past a car fire just before approaching the CFA?)

Conference call done, lunch eaten... then on the road back to Jersey.

We briefly stopped in to Harper's Ferry, but can you believe on a random Thursday afternoon there was no parking? (FYI: National Parks Service I want my Six Dollars back).

We also hit up an LLBean in Marlton, NJ and managed to crash "Customer Appreiciation Night" and got free food, drinks and a 15% discount. That was a pleasant surprise, but I don't know that it made up for much of what had come before. ;)

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