It's now 2:21am

and I've just submitted my headshot for consideration as an extra for Sex and the City 2. I love the internet!

It's 11:47pm

the Husband is at a bachelor party and I'm at home, watching Steel Magnolias and doing decopauge.

Neuschwanstein

About a month ago I was at the Dollar Spot at my local Target browsing the racks. I was making gift bags for my neice and nephew who we were going to be seeing on our trip to South Carolina. While picking out goodies for the kids I saw a pack of "World Landmark" Flashcards. Miss B. loves decks of cards so I picked them up for her. They've got nice color photos of all sorts of fun places around the globe and information on the back about the locations and cultural significance. Kind of like a UNESCO World Heritage deck of trading cards. Today we were sitting around watching one of the Shrek movies and Miss B. pulled out the deck from her toy bag. I started going through it, telling her the name of the landmark and location as I handed her a card. It goes to show that she really is at that "repeat everything" stage. Not only did she master "Taj Mahal" and "Easter Island Heads" but most impressively was "Neuschwanstein" (only mildly garbled). Perhaps we have a natural born German speaker on our hands. Ach du lieber!

Check This Out!

I found this picture from the Chris Isaak show at the Beacon-- it was on
MSNBC.com's celebrity sightings page!

Another View on Healthcare

I don't know that I agree with the suggestions posited by John Mackey, CEO of Wholefoods in his WSJ article, but I do agree with opening up the debate and opposing the current healthcare reform proposal!

I Was Just Informed That

Kipper and Tiger are taking the Bus to the Park.

(Actually, they're not-- on the episode we're watching they are taking a walk, but Miss B. thinks they should take the bus to the park.)

Never

hand a toddler an open bag of Jellybeans while shopping at Saks. Even if it is only the Off Fifth Outlet store.

Some things Shouldn't be Sold on Ebay

So, during the playdate from hell one of the Mom's started telling me how she's planning on selling some used bras on Ebay.

She only wore them a few times.

Is there really a market for used undergarments?

I hope not.

Grimace!

Yesterday on the way home from the City, Miss B. demanded French Fries. Starting about mid way through the Lincoln Tunnel I kept hearing "French Fries! French Fries!" from the back seat. So, as soon as possible we hit up a McDonald's. I was debating between a large fry and a happy meal. I pull up to the drive through and I was reminded that the current Happy Meal toy is beanie babies. I had previously noticed that one of the beanie baby possibilities is Grimace. I love Grimace, but you never see him anymore at McDonald's. So I asked the drive-thru person what prize was available. She tells me: "a panda" and (after the sound of paper rumpling) "a purple thing." (A Purple thing? You work at McDonald's and you don't know that the purple thing is GRIMACE? Come on people! Educate!) So, I pick the Happy Meal. Luckily I did remember to check the bag before pulling away-- as of course what was our prize? (A skunk-- FYI, just because it's black and white and fuzzy doesn't mean its a Panda!) So I asked to trade it in for "the purple thing". Miss B. approved.

What on Earth??

So, I just heard that Crazy Mom's Thing #1 has "Chemical Magic" camp this week. Last week he was in Aquarium Camp. Earlier in the summer it was Farm Camp. I have to say Kudos to the people who put these things together. I've never heard of so many random concepts designed to fill a child's week. What's next? Sudoku Camp? Hot Dog Vendor camp? Ice Sculpting? Mastering the Art of the Short Story for Publication? Tagalog for Toddlers?

50/50

Today Miss B. and I headed into the city for a day of fun with Melanie and Andrew! Given that it was really, really hot today, Melanie had suggested that we visit MoMA. It was a perfect place to spend the day! The "Roman" themed Cafe on 2 is super kid friendly and has a fantastic menu. Miss B. got a nutella, peanut butter and banana panini (very Elvis meets La Dolce Vita) with apple slices on the side. I got a great baked pennetti (aka mac n' cheese). Miss B. also got a glass of her signature "cold milk" which unfortunately, ended up partly on my lap. This is why I was glad that I was wearing pants from H&M. (I have found that as a Mom, the older Miss B. gets the more daring I can be with my outfits, and by daring I mean the greater the percentage of dry-clean only or designer items I can wear on any given occasion). Today I had on a Marc Jacobs top and paired with the H&M pants, thus leaving a 50/50 chance that something would get stained or otherwise require dry cleaning. Luckily it was just the cheap-o pants! Woo-hoo!

Later on, after a visit to the scuplture garden we went back to the cafe for gelato and tiramisu. Then we hit up the MoMA gift shop and design shop. As I mentioned to Mel, for some reason the MoMA stores always whip me into a retail frenzy. They just have such neat stuff! But I got out pretty cheap-- a book for Miss B., a couple of post cards, a birthday gift for the Mom and a Muji purse-sized notepad. (Love the Muji-- it was $1!)

Finally, it was on to a quick sweep through Saks. A great day was had by all!

Organizing an Angry Mob, Part Two

On Friday we hosted a play date. Actually, I'm not really sure that "play date" is the right phrase. Can you still call it a "play date" when there are fourteen people? I think that is nearing Mongolian Horde standards personally, especially when such a number is at my house. Birthday parties, pool parties... the more the merrier. Play dates? Not so much. You see, if it's a birthday party or some other shindig we're throwing then it would be on a weekend and thus, the Husband would be my entertainment wingman and not to mention, certain events even come with Grandparents, so that's even more hands to lighten the load. But a playdate on a Friday morning? I should have my head examined.

I had made this mistake once before, in February, when I had Crazy Mom and two of her brood and a whole slew of other folks over. I was rather exasperated when I found Thing #2 climbing on one of my chairs attempting to molest my taxidermy. I was even more exasperated when, after three hours, instead of the gang hitting the pavement, napping children were stowed in a playtent on the family room floor and it seemed like the house invaders would never leave.

Well, six months had passed and I felt like I had to host one of these things again. Especially since some of the Gymboree moms had begun organizing a "knitting group/playdate" weekly get-together. I had missed the first one of these and then one of the other moms volunteered my house for the second meeting (which, thankfully, happened to coincide with a crisis at The Job, so I had the pleasure of cancelling), finally, I attended the third meeting. I had offered to bring the bagels and was then upbraided by the host-mom who insisted that, since I offered to bring bagels, I would have to arrive ON TIME at 10am since Crazy Mom could only stay for a short bit (and was obviously, entitled to bagels). I arrived at a condo village 15 minutes from my house and had to park in timbuktu and then found Crazy Mom, host mom and no one else. Nobody else showed for more than an hour. But, god forbid I had gotten there 10 or 15 minutes late!

But, enough back story. The same mom who acted as Bagel Nazi then begins sending me e-mail messages about who I should invite. I didn't mind when the first suggestion was another mom we know. I did mind when Bagel Mom asked if she could bring her neighbor (whom I've never met) and her neighbor's three children, the oldest of whom is nine. The addition of all of these folks would have brought the head count up to 20! Like I'm hosting a summer camp or something. Then Bagel Mom suggests that we do everything pot-luck. No complaints from me, right up until she tells us all that she'll be bringing cream cheese left over from last week. I'm sorry, but I have a thing about leftovers. I'm not bringing leftovers to your house, so please don't bring them to mine. Especially not week-old dairy products.

I shopped for this event. Some of the food included: Lunchmeat: One pound of ham, one pound of turkey, 3/4 pound white american cheese (which, sadly, was sliced too thin for some of the moms), 16 yo-kids yogurts, 24 juice boxes (white grape juice and apple juice only), I made 24 mini lemon poppyseed muffins (I had learned from last time NOT to make blueberry muffins), 16 blueberry muffins (very good, made by another mom, unfortunately not stain proof-- so these were relegated to kitchen consumption only), two bags of string cheese, a bunch of bananas, two loaves of bread, one package of pita, grapes, apples, a pear, Cereal bars, lemonade and water. Bagel Mom brought 14 bagels and the aforementioned dubious cream cheese. Another guest brought macaroons. Crazy Mom (who this time brought all three of her darling children, including her 6 year old son) brought nothing (and then seemed disappointed when there was no coffee served).

I had previously done a toy sweep in order to remove from the play area toys of Miss B.'s which either couldn't easily be decontaminated with a clorox wipe or were of the kind which would cause a toddler meltdown (or an adult meltdown) if other kids were playing with them. This included much of Miss B.'s handmade soft play food, her $150 German block set from Grandpa, her Melissa & Doug Pizza Party Set and all art supplies (this turned out to be a wise move as at one point during the event Thing #1and Thing #2 made a beeline for the kitchen screaming for art supplies).

The horde descended upon us quickly. I should have also removed from play the styrofoam Sword, Cutlass and Mace. Thing #1 (aka Crazy Mom's eldest) loved to swing the various foam weapons all around the house and at the other children as if he were a samurai. At one point he attacked Miss B.'s mini Dyson vacuum knocking it over on her. Kids were jumping on and collapsing the play tent, the Thomas train table? Was demolished as if it were the old Penn Station. Small fights would occasionally break out between kids for toys and/or juice boxes and/or food in general. We had lunch. Twice. (Let me not forget the package of hot dogs and buns-- where one mom complained that there weren't turkey dogs and that the 97% fat free hot dogs tasted like sawdust, but she still ate two of them.)

They were here for four hours.

Casualties? The train table still appears to be missing a piece of track.
I'm sure I'll be finding leftover juice boxes hidden in strange places all around the house from now until the holidays.

The cat has just barely come out of hiding. There was a blueberry handprint streaked across the bulk of my island cabinets. Once they were gone I felt like the only way to actually get the house clean was to just hit it with a flame thrower ala Kurt Russell in John Carpenter's The Thing.

Remind me, never do this again. Thanks in advance.

Crafting Update!

So as many of you know, every year so far we've done a theme calendar starring none other than Miss B. Well, preparations are underway for the 2010 calendar. This evening I started sewing up one of the costumes. I also started work on a baby quilt! It is that time again, Baby Shower season. Let the furious knitting and/or quilting begin!

The Women

"No One Hates Saks."

I just watched "The Women" on Cinemax. I've seen it before, and I have to say-- I like it.

Organizing an Angry Mob?

You have to love this new ad sponsored by the DNC. Yes, they're saying that the Republican party is organizing "angry mobs" of citizens to disrupt town hall meetings and otherwise try and stop the "change" that "the American people"
voted for "overwhelmingly" in November.

This type of advertising, together with the request on the White House website to forward emails which seem "fishy" regarding Health Care reform to the White House seems to me to be a bit of a throwback to the Nixon administration.

Perhaps the people who are "angry mobs" at the townhall meeting are simply seeking to exercise their first amendment right of free speech in order to express political discontent.

Perhaps a better way of addressing all of the so-called "misinformation" which "travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation" (i.e. through speech of private citizens) would be to have a clear and concise website which explains EXACTLY what the health care reform plan is, how it will work and what its benefits are.

Hey, maybe we could also do this too: maybe instead of spending billions of dollars in the Cash For Clunkers program (just to take cars off of the road and destroy them-- rather than repurpose or recycle them) maybe we could use some of that money to create jobs. For instance, folks who are on unemployment could work in 311-style phone banks with scripts that describe and explain health care reform and the White House's website could direct citizens with questions to call a 1-800 number to get answers.

But that's just a suggestion. I wonder if this sort of suggestion would put me in that whole "angry mob" category?

Chris Isaak!

Tonight was that time again, time for another Chris Isaak concert! This is the third Chris Isaak concert I've been to in four years and as usual it was a great show! Tonight's concert was back at the Beacon Theater on the Upper West Side-- which is a great venue. As the Husband noted there's not a bad seat in the house. The opening act was Dorian Spencer, followed by Michelle Branch. Chris and the band did a fantastic job as usual and the crowd really got into it (even if I, and the nine year old girl sitting behind us) were the youngest people in the crowd.

Explain to me...

how it is that the government thinks it can take over the country's health care system when it can't even run the Post Office? I love that they site e-mail as a leading factor in the decline of people using the postal service. Okay, that and the fact that they keep raising postage every thirty seconds and at this point sending a package can be done faster, cheaper and more efficiently through FedEx!

"I Feel Great!"

We have a Pottery Barn storage cube in our bedroom. In it are a bunch of toys that Miss B. hasn't played with in a while. One of those toys is bedtime Ernie. Bedtime Ernie is a talking Ernie doll dressed in striped pjs with bunny slippers and a sleep mask. Unfortunately, Bedtime Ernie's batteries must be going because every once in a while (like, for instance, a few moments ago) we'll hear Ernie say, muffled, from inside the storage cube: "I Feel Great!" (This is his post-nap phrase... but oddly, its the only thing we ever hear him say).

Public Enemies

was better than expected. I was rather surprised though that it was no longer playing at Marketfair and had instead been relegated to the Indian movie theater in North Brunswick. And, alas, the "Indian" movie theater has gotten even more Indian since our last visit. Not only did they have giant billboards in the lobby for no less than three Bollywood hits, but the concession stand is now serving Samosas!

Fudge!

Yesterday we visited Long Beach Island, New Jersey. The weather was nice and as we were sitting on the beach, the Mom said that before we left she wanted to go back to one of the shopping areas and pick up a sweatshirt. Then the Dad asked, why not get some fudge at the same time (as we always get fudge)...

A little while later we noticed some dark clouds and one of the other beach goers mentioned that a storm was on its way so it might be time to leave the beach. We headed back to the car and dropped Mom off at the sweatshirt place just as it started to drizzle.

The plan was to circle the parking lot and pick Mom up after she'd gotten her sweatshirt and gone to the fudge shop.

In the ensuing few minutes all hell broke loose weather wise. It was no longer just a drizzle it was a deluge. It was like hurricane weather. The sky was literally black and the rain was coming down so hard it was ridiculous. We found a parking space opposite where we dropped off the Mom and right in front of the fudge shop.

I checked my email. Just as I was working on my BB, it rang. It was a 201 number. It was the Mom. She was stranded standing next to the novelty schooner in the shopping area and had borrowed someone's cell phone to figure out where we were. I told her we were right in front of the fudge shop. The next thing see is Mom gingerly ascending the steps by the schooner and heading towards the car. The Dad's impression: "that's as fast as she can run right now". Dad then starts pointing his fingers towards the fudge store (as if Mom can see us inside the car, which wasn't particularly likely given the downpour) and he also starts yelling: "Go get the fudge! Get the fudge!".... (ironically, Dad doesn't even eat fudge).

Mom comes to the car window and is *SOAKED*-- I mean, to-the-bone-soaked. I roll down my window and the Dad and I both say: "Go get the fudge!" Mom, bewildered as to why we haven't let her in the car, shoves her shopping bag in the window, as the window is being rolled up...

So. She went in and got some fudge. And some salt-water taffy for the Husband. Mom ran back to the car, I had unlocked it (but the Dad didn't see me do that so he locked it again, which meant Mom spent more needless time getting drenched). Our thought process was, well, you're already wet, so go ahead and get that candy! I don't know if the Mom quite agreed but we did get a good laugh out of it once she got back in the car.