I bet you didn't know this would happen...

I received the following email chain this afternoon.
______________________________________________
From: Corporate Big Wig
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Please be advised that all logs for the period ending August 31, 2006 must be entered and finalized by 4:00 p.m. LOCAL TIME on Friday, September 1, 2006.


______________________________________________
From: Head Honcho Bossy-Boss Guy
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 4:32 PM
To: Some of Everybody ! US
Subject: Time Entry


Everyone.

See the email above. I don't like these deadlines anymore then you, but be advised that I expect everyone's time for the month of August to be in the system within the deadline set forth below--that means TOMORROW.


-----Original Message-----
From: Tip-Top Corporate Beancounter
Sent: Thursday, August 31, 2006 6:13 PM
To: Back to Everyone ! US
Subject: Time Entry

This is very important for many reasons. Please comply with this request.

______________________________________________________

Secret to the Universe decoded by email messages sent to Corporate Drone:

This *IS* very important, for many reasons... none of which we're going to tell you...

Such as:

A) If you don’t comply with this request, time, as a scientific concept, as we know it will come to a screeching halt. Planets will collide, generally bad news for everybody.

B) Interest rates will go up

C) Al Gore will grow another goofy beard.

D) Toilets all over the Northern Hemisphere will start flushing in the opposite direction and in Australia, they will come to a complete standstill.

E) Lindsay Lohan will be awarded the Irving Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Award.

F) Legwarmers will come back into style (ha! told you so.)