Extra, Extra! Jules is Expecting!

Word has it that Julia Roberts is expecting her third baby this Summer! Don't forget, you heard it here first...in my October 31 "Wawaloha" post!

Congrats to Jules!!!

Sloth.

Usually I'm a get up and go kind of person. Take today for instance. It's the last business day of the year, I really don't have any pressing work to do. The Husband has to stick around for a conference call-- the bulk of the office has already left to enjoy their New Year's weekend. Typically I would have been out of here hours ago on a shopping excurison or otherwise. Not now. I thought about those things. I checked out my MTA map to see if there was any way possible of getting to (gasp!) Liz Lange via subway (not quite). I could have taken the BVFD (or whichever one of those actually goes to 59th street) to 59th street and then changed to a 6 train to 77th street but then I would have still had to walk from 77th and Third to Madison. It's not even that cold out! Nope, crossed off the list. Albee Baby Carriage? 95th and Amsterdam. Well-- I could take the 1 up to 96th and Broadway-- I would be but two small blocks away (mind you, normally I'd say take a cab, but today there are no cabs...) nope. again. no stamina. I just can't do it. I'm torn between pure inertia and the desire to shop, who knew pregnancy could do this, of all things???

A Few Things...

So, I've got lunch plans today and was asked for a confidentiality agreement that nothing said at lunch will appear on the blog. I do hope that means that lunch conversation today will be gossip-laden and exciting. :)

Also, it is official, I can be called a pregnant woman-- I received a Boppy as a gift. My dad didn't know what the hell a Boppy was and when I began the sentence with "breast feeding pillow" that was certainly more information than he needed to hear. What amazes me is that how someone has made millions out of what appears to be just a giant travel pillow. Why didn't I think of that?

No New Posts....

Sorry, no new posts for a while! I hope everyone's holidays were fun and enjoyable-- as usual we had way too much food!

You know you're married homeowner when...

Items on your shopping list for Christmas weekend include a turkey and a 12 volt battery and you have to call your spouse to locate the nearest Radio Shack.

For some reason, in connection with the battery replacement issue, all I can think of is Radio Raheem in Do the Right Thing, "D, motherf**ker, D"

Issues.

Today I have issues. Not only do I have the gum/tooth thing going on but now I have some goofy form of laryngitis (is that even how that's spelled?) Going back to the dentist this afternoon and am getting myself ready in the event that I'm told the wisdom tooth needs to be removed, without any numbing medication. I'm hoping that's not the case (and more importantly I'm hoping that thinking that will be sufficient to scare my tooth and gum into submission-- so that they snap out of it and stop hurting). Wish me luck.

Unfabulous

Today I am completely and utterly unfabulous. This is evidenced by the fact that I have on no make-up and am wearing cargo pants-- to work. I am actually wearing cargo pants to work, the Husband was completely humiliated. It would be one thing if they were cute cargo pants, but they're not, they're very much generic, maternity cargo pants that make me look like I should be a paratrooper or something. I had such a chaotic and unpleasant morning that I left the house with semi-wet hair and as a result actually brought my straightening iron to work with me. It's just one of those days and the disappointing part is that its not even Friday yet.

Friendly Advice

To the woman behind me in line at the automated postal machine at the Rockefeller Center Post Office:

No one is disputing that you're next in line. You really don't have to keep hitting me in the back with your package, especially since there is a large counter next to you that you may rest your package on. In fact, if you hit me one more time with that package both you and it will be unceremoniously shoved into the large package receptacle directly next to the automated postal machine.

To the woman behind my in line at Hale and Hearty Soups who pronounced "asparagus, potato and leek" as "As-para-goose, po-ta-too, LEEEK":

We're all in line for soup. Though some of us may choose to also purchase a half sandwich and achieve a "soup and sandwich combo", we are, nonetheless, ahead of you and looking to purchase soup. When the soup specialist calls out "may I have the next person for soup" you don't need to throw your hand up in the air and yell, "As-para-goose!", since there are at least 6 to 7 people ahead of you in line.

Just a little friendly advice from your local, angry pregnant woman. And, personal favor, please stop playing with those sleigh bells.

USPS

Okay, so who ever heard of a post office closing at 3:30pm, let alone 3:30pm during the holiday season? I of course had forgotten to buy packing tape at Target so when I got to the PO I could only send out 2 of my intended four packages because I had taped those up at home before running out. Silly me to think the post office would be open, I'd be able to buy tape and an extra box. Ha! Meanwhile, let's not forget that not only have I not sent out Christmas cards yet but I haven't even bought them. Ut-Oh.

Rachael Ray

So this morning I was watching the Rachael Ray Show (I know, I know... if only Tony Danza were still on!) anyway, she was making some sort of horrible Monte Cristo sandwich concoction with cornbread pancakes, turkey breast, ham and cheese sauce (I told you it was horrible)... and she's got the cheese sauce in a non-stick pot and she used a metal ladle to get the sauce out of the pan and totally scraped it along the bottom-- you could actually hear the scraping sound! Ugh! Use a plastic ladle, woman! You're going to ruin the non-stick! Then again, I guess I shouldn't be encouraging the use of cheese sauce in this instance anyway!

Score!

Okay, I have to share. I bought the Husband a sweater at Saks for his birthday. When I was there a few days ago to purchase said sweater I saw that they had really nice Zegna overcoats. The Husband has been wanting a nice Zegna overcoat and with the fifth anniversary coming up I suggested to him that maybe this would make a good gift. When the Husband opened the sweater on his birthday we realized that much to our dismay the salesman had left the security tag on.

Today I decided to bring in the sweater to get the tag taken off and also take back a Marc Jacobs sweater that sadly did not fit (I can't tell if it was designed for someone with shoulders like Tiki Barber or perhaps no shoulders... either way, it didn't fit me).

I vaguely recall having seen a message in my inbox this morning from Saks which said something to the effect of "give some, get some" implying it was one of their "If you spend $X you'll get a gift card for $Y..." I deleted it without paying much attention.

At lunch time I get ready to head off to Saks and luckily the Husband was able to join me (which was especially good because I am wearing ridiculously high heels today and me walking from my office to Saks required a major feet of engineering...)

We go up to the men's department to get the security tag off of the birthday sweater and lo and behold! Coats are on sale! More importantly the Zegna coats are 30% off! A lovely gentleman helps us locate the right size (54R-- Italian sizing) and we're all set! Next thing, we're offered to have the coat shipped to the house which means-- no tax! Then, David our salesman confirms that yes, we are quite eligible for a gift card.

After our purchase we head to the gift card redemption center and are told that not only do we get a gift card but we also got this neat book on New York... and (in typical retail fashion...) if we only spend just a little bit more we'll be at the next threshold and we'll get more than double our gift card money. Well, who can refuse that? So, I then proceed to participate in the gift card triathalon which includes the beauty floor gauntlet, Diane von Furstenberg relay and Missoni rack pull.

At the end of the day I managed to snag a new rain hat and get the gift card, Husband got a fabulous coat and we got a gift book thrown in. It was a total fit of retail hysteria, but it explains why as Thisbe knows, Saks is our happy place.

Useful Tip #202

If you're looking for a way to get people to not sit next to you on the subway, try carrying a large jug inside of a bag which is marked with the Haz-Mat symbol, and the words "24 Hour Urine Collection". Trust me, it works.

Ridiculousness...

Its 9:51pm and I'm at home, but I'm on a conference call. What's with that?

More Random Occurrences

Saw Andrew Shue from Melrose Place at our local tree farm. He's cute in person, though shorter than expected. It was one of those things where the husband and I and Andrew and his son were the only people shopping for trees, I noticed that he looked familiar and then at one point I was looking at him and he stared right at me as if to say, "would you leave me alone, I'm shopping for a tree!" (Much like the time that my mother was mesmerized by the Enigma in New Orleans...) after that I frantically waved over the husband and said, "I think that's Andrew Shue". The husband was not particularly impressed (not nearly as much as the time we saw Heather Graham massage her own butt, but that's a whole other story entirely).

And, on another note. Was watcing 60 Minutes again and again Andy Rooney was being a complete jackass. He did a whole little schtick about how people send him things and that he intends to put all of the stuff people have sent him over the years in a box, tie a ribbon around it and throw it away. What a ray of sunshine that man is, no?

Thoughts for the Day....

Is anybody actually going to go see Apocalypto?

What does it say about my Saturday night when I find myself making brownies at midnight while watcing Empire Strikes Back? (They were very good brownies, though).

Just Because They Serve You Doesn't Mean They Like You

So, I had this very long, very detailed post about what happened to me on Friday night and how I got stuck at work and had to cancel my dinner reservations. At the end of the day things worked out well, we still made it to the Nutcracker, we ended up sitting next to an older couple also from Princeton and then afterwards we had a lovely dinner with Melanie and Mike at an Italian place near Lincoln Center. All I really want to say about the first part of the evening is, for all of the employers out there... the best way to inspire complete disdain within your employees is be passive agressive. The tagline to Clerks said it best-- just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you.

1,000,000 Mile Saab...

Apparently, a man in Wisconsin drove his 1989 SAAB 900 SPG over 1,000,000 miles. I used to own a 1991 SAAB 900 S. It was great while I had it (until it started doing this thing where you would step on the gas and the car wouldn't go-- that can be problematic, and of course, there was also the whole thing where the windshield wipers would go on and off by themselves, but I just said that the car had "personality"). I do, however, have some doubt about the 1,000,000 mile mark. Not doubting that it hit 1,000,000 (okay, well maybe I do *doubt* that a SAAB made it that far...), but quite possibly, whether it actually went considerably more than that.

For instances, one time, after one of the drives from Atlanta to Ithaca, New York, the odometer indicated that when I got to Ithaca, I had only gone a total of 65 miles. Just for reference, MapQuest estimates this would have actually been a 958.46 mile drive. I guess those SAABs are just optimistic.

Hawaii's Favorite Treat...

I'm sitting in my office and the woman next door to me is on the phone. I just hear one word ring out through the rest of the droning conversation--- SPAM! And, immediately, my mind thinks... "Oooooooh, Spam!" Of course, I think she was talking about email spam, but in my current state all I could think of was pork shoulder and ham-- Spam! Thank God I don't have access to any Spam right now. So much for trying to eat healthy.

Farewell to Max

Sadly, we learned on Monday that George Clooney's pig Max passed away. Let's all have a moment of silence for Max, and perhaps now, George may be ready to break down and find a wife!

Making my Mark on Rockefeller Center

So, I'm pregnant. Rumor has it pregnant women have morning sickness. This is a myth. I'm certain a myth possibly created by a man, because "morning" sickness doesn't do it justice. It really should be known as something along the line of: "Any Time of The Day or Night If You're Awake, Or Even If You're Asleep, You're Going To Get The Shit Kicked Out of You Sickness"

It was 12pm and I was very, very hungry. The Pria Bar from this morning was just not doing the job and I needed to *eat*. For me, the "morning" sickness beast can be somewhat calmed by eating. Of course, this has to be done carefully, since one morning I ate a graham cracker stick and the old body decided we're never eating those again. Yet things like egg mcmuffins, they do just fine.

So the husband and I head down into the concourse to find lunch. After deciding against the selections at Hale and Hearty we make our way up the escalator to the main floor in 30 Rock to head out to Citarella. Unfortunately, we get to the top of the escalator and there is some sort of noxious fume. Husband claims it was a significant quantity of cigarette smoke, to me it was like mustard gas. Two inhales of this and I'm doubled over. All I can managed to make out to say is, "I have to get away from that smell!"

Next thing I know, I'm up against one of the walls of the lobby, eyes watering, coughing, doubled over. The poor husband keeps saying to me, "let's move over to one of the buckets"-- there are potted plants scattered about the lobby area, and I've suddenly turned into Linda Blair. My mind thinking "I'M NOT MOVING OVER TO ANYTHING, THROWING UP HERE IS JUST FINE!!!!!!!" At the end of the day all that really happens to me (besides the racking of my body by coughs and other unpleasantries) is that my head begins producing an entirely too great amount of saliva, tears and for lack of a better descriptive term, clear snot, etc., etc. Essentially, my entire head tries to produce my body weight in fluid, mostly coming out of my nose and eyes. In a few minutes, I'm fine and I can make my way to Citarella to pick up food... but I think the most important thing to take away from episodes like this is at some point in your life that sense of decorum which is usually very important to maintain can be thrown by the wayside.

Breaking the News...

Careful blog followers may have already figured this out, but I figured it was about time to break the news (after having already notified friends and family...) we are expecting!

Reactions have varied. Most people are extremely happy and excited for us. Dave, of course, had already figured it out, and yet another friend actually rushed me off the phone before I had the chance to tell them. Boy, nothing kills the excitement like that, huh? All in all things have been going well, though I have managed to experience every pregnancy symptom in the book. I've got morning sickness (otherwise known as any time you're awake sickness), nosebleeds, general tiredness and malaise and on Sunday I was sidelined by a migraine. No terribly exotic food cravings yet, though I will say that food commercials on television are having an unusual amount of sway in my mind.

Not to mention, there's the whole "emotional" thing going on. I made the mistake of watching The Lake House with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock and even though I had already read the spoiler and knew how it ended (and more specifically, I knew that Keanu doesn't die and they do end up together) I still bawled terribly. One night on the way home, Dean Martin music made me get bleary-eyed. Anyone who was at my wedding knows that I have a tendency to blubber easily, but this is just getting ridiculous.

Anyhoo, you may notice a few posts that seem out of order-- I'm going to start putting up some of the posts that I have written over the past few weeks that I hadn't yet made available to the general, unknowing public.

Be aware, we will be finding out if we're having a boy or a girl-- I'll have that info probably next month.

Love and Kisses,
Wonder

Thoughts for the Day...

Puff Plus with lotion. I love those damn things. After two days of bloody nose and a weekend of lots of nose blowing thanks to a miserable head cold, nothing was quite as refreshing as Puffs Plus. Kleenex had truly become like sand paper.

Sadly, For Your Consideration was pretty lame. Dave was a good sport and let us all go and see it during our Chrismukkah celebration, but the general consensus was that the only good line in the movie was-- "Next shot, a close up on the kugel."

Of course, 410e9th tried to cause trouble by claiming that I was talking about how bad the reviews were before the movie, when really, to be fair, so was he! :) But we gave it a go anyway.

A few more random, Larry King-like observations...

Domino's new Brooklyn style pizza is pretty darn good-- shout out to the Folks. They suggested we try it. What can I say, yesterday I was totally out of commission with a migrane and the head cold remnants. All grand plans to make Green Curry Chicken went out the window.

A Rose Grows in December???

Who knew? This lovely rose was growing in the backyard!