Oscars.

Hmpf. Not that exciting. Thoughts?

First off, I've only ever won the Oscar Pool at the Job once. That was clearly some kind of fluke. This year I went straight Entertainment Weekly voting across the board (with the exception of choosing Mickey Rourke over Sean Penn because I despise Sean Penn) and what happens? I lose in all those goofy categories like "best animated short film" and "best documentary about a subject no one is interested in". Damn! I was just trying to win movie tickets and shut out again, as usual.

Outfits? What did everyone think? Poor Reese Witherspoon. Why do people think black and blue can go together? It's never good when you start out closely resembling a bruise. It takes a lot to come back from those comparisons, so the dress has to be really phenomenal. And this one just wasn't.

Amy Adam's jewels. Is it just me or did this look like the same Bulgari necklace that Keira Knightly wore a few years ago? (And, why do I know that?)

Meryl Streep. So didn't talk to Tim Gunn on the Red Carpet. And, given that she was in grey and made her poor daughter wear dishwater brown it's no wonder.

Brad and Angie: Good for her. She snubbed Ryan Seacrest AGAIN!

Jennifer Anniston and John Mayer. Okay, sorry, but he's just too young for her. He makes Ashton Kutcher look like Henry Kissenger. It's not even his age so much as you just know he's a smug immature jerk, you know? And really, if he's dated Jessica Simpson, do you think this is some sort of prize after you've been married to Brad Pitt? She would have been better sticking with Vince Vaughn!

Where was Jack Nicholson? He's usually front and center with his sunglasses on. Maybe he was trying to avoid Shirley Maclaine.