Clown Shoe Saga Continues

So this morning I get an email update regarding my order from Converse.com. The email begins by saying, "If you've received this email, one of three things will happen next..." Sounds a little omninous, but okay... the message then goes on to list the three things: (a) if your item is in stock and has shipped, a tracking number will appear below, (b) if your item is on backorder, the details of the backorder will appear below, and (c) if your item has been discontinued you will receive a call from Converse to discuss your options. This can only raise one question for me-- does Converse have its legal department drafting its forms of email shipping notices? Do I really need to be forewarned that if I've received the email one of three things will happen and that two of the three things involve information at the bottom of the email? Why not just send me an email that says either: (a) your item has shipped, here's the tracking number, or (b) your item isn't shipping, we'll let you know if it eventually does, or (c) that crap you ordered we don't even bother to make anymore, too bad. Call us if you want your money back. Isn't that easier?

By the way, my amaranth clown shoes supposedly have shipped. Via UPS. Needless to say, when I went to UPS.com and put in my tracking number they advised that they had no record of it in their system, meanwhile the pregnancy feet are swelling by the minute. Soon I'll need flippers.